If your parents make you go to school on the last day, hang out upstairs with the obnoxious business teacher who bellows "Wrecking Ball" and plays music at a thousand decibels. Your parents will think you care about school because you showed up.
When you get up in the morning, take off your pajama pants and let the dogs out. Step outside with them to feel the morning air. Wave at your early rising neighbor. Act like you're wearing pants. Do some yoga stretches, really air yourself out.
The one thing all mountain towns need --adding to their kayak businesses, and zip lines, and cute Pharmacy Soda Shops, consignment stores, breweries for the tourists, local dive bar for the locals, pizza joints, river rafting, ski shops, bookstores(all small mountain towns have a bookstore), off beat guitar/music shop--is a Victoria's Secret. That's what women want, and it'd really class up the place.
When your dryer breaks, hanging your clothes in front of a fan works well.
Instead of rows of bubbles on standardized tests, they should be structured in groups. That way, you can bubble in a cute Christmas tree or a bear when you have no idea what the answer is. They should leave room in the margins for you to write "I cannot answer this question, there is a bear in the way." That would give those SAT graders a good laugh. They need it.
Make detailed lists of everything you need to accomplish in a week. Read it over. Become exhausted and return to bed. The list will be there tomorrow.
I was in a play once, and the director called me over. I knew he was cutting me from the show. I said "I'm cut, aren't I?" and he said "You were never cast. You just keep showing up and walking through scenes saying 'That's not how I heard it'". I told him I was trying to fix the way Sam Shepard had clearly miswritten his play. He had the stage manager escort me to the stage door, and I heard it lock behind me. But I will be back tomorrow disguised as an orange tabby cat. They'll never see me sneak in.
The way to solve the current teaching crisis---which includes, but is not limited to: lack of substitute teachers, young teachers who burn out quickly, older teachers who are experts but not listened to---is to universally bully all teachers into a "My Way Or The Highway" approach that gives them more work and ignores the needs of the student body. Then give them M&M's with the school logo on them for a reward. The data shows that will definitely make everyone want to stay in the profession, and your building. You will be the winner!
The best way to paint your room, is to choose a color, close your eyes and imagine it painted in that color. If you keep your eyes closed, you don't have to go to the trouble of painting.
The purpose of education has been lost. If you take the word apart, it breaks into ED UCA TION. Which is the central problem, nobody knows what that means. Ed is a guy you met at a bar. UCA is an acronym for whatever you choose. TION forms the action of a noun; so Ed from the University of Cat Action is in charge of schools. See the problem?
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