dear friends, margins are a struggle in google. try to move past it.
Dionysus is male or female, or both.
Dionysius is sitting on stage, staring into the audience. He has a district chrome book or laptop in front of him on the stage. He is seated cross legged. He is not in a toga but yoga pants and a long shirt. S/He has a large goblet by one knee, and a plate of grapes by the other. Not drunk, but clearly joyful and loving life.Very Christmas Present from A Christmas Carol, Or Mau: BIg, Happy god type. Dionysis is breathing heavily and chanting “the lips, the teeth and the tip of the tongue”
Mollie and Troy enter, Mollie leading. They speak to Dio who is not moving on stage. They speak and he lowers his mantra volume and nods in response when they speak.
MOLLIE
Good morning, Dio…
TROY
Dio, if we could have your attention please. We have a question.
DIO
Lips teeth tip of the tongue…
MOLLIE
Thank you for allowing us to do this on stage during your off period. Troy’s office is a bit small for three.
DIO
Lips teeth tip of the tongue...
TROY
I wouldn’t need three if–I don’t need three– I don’t need a babysitter, I am an assistant principal-
MOLLIE
–whose inability to silence their inner monologue, especially if it’s inappropriate, is why I am doing this with you.
DIO
Interrupting their silly human argument.
Greetings.
He takes a handful of grapes and pops them in his mouth.
MOLLIE
Good morning Dio. Sorry to bother you during your planning time.
DIO
I am used to holding court. You look unhappy.
TROY
We aren’t unhappy, if that’s what you are suggesting. Well we are unhappy…but …
DIO
Why look miserable? It’s a beautiful, snow filled day. My students are equally unhappy, daily. It is difficult to do my job among such GRIM… the lack of revelry in this school is vexing to me. Does nobody celebrate any more?
MOLLIE
Our students have a lot …going on… it is hard for them to celebrate.
DIO
All the more reason to come to theatre. Bring them all to me, we will dance together. Dio stands and stretches his arms to the sky. His face indicates the administrators should join him. Troy does so. Mollie stands and watches, grimacing.
TROY
We’re here…we have a video…Mollie shoots him a look. He stops stretching but stays put. We need another observation for your evaluation….
MOLLIE
Your evaluation is just fine, we–
DIO
During this he stretches through a sun salutation to ragdoll to downward facing dog. TROY joins him half way through, seemingly transfixed.
I am still unsure as to why I must be graded. Am I now being graded because I did not have enough grades?If I am a teacher, I understand that I am to grade students. That’s what Troy said. I have to grade, but I didn’t have enough grades in the machine. He indicates the chrome book. That was a bit fractured, I am sorry. Still emerging from my time with Zeus. To you it looks like meditation. I do yoga to return to my body.
TROY
Yes,I recall making a note on your evaluation regarding your practice of using yoga for warmups.
DIO
You said I did it for too long. “Too much yoga”, to be exact.
TROY
It doesn’t seem like that long when you’re doing it. He moves from down-dog to up-dog, smiling at Dionysus. How did I remember that just from watching? That’s down dog to up dog, right? DIO
Yes it is. Excellent job, Troy
TROY
Yoga burpees! Sun salutation, ragdoll,down dog, up dog, plank. He does the moves as he states them. Mollie stares at him until he stands still.
MOLLIE
The state demands accountability from each district, each district evaluates their teachers.
DIO
Doing “yoga burpees” as he speaks.
Who is your evaluator? Who grades you?
MOLLIE
I am an assistant principal, the principal evaluates me.
DIO
Oh.Then that’s ok I guess. He turns to TROY, who executes a trust fall into his arms with complete commitment. Troy, you have become so trusting! Troy smiles. Good for you!
MOLLIE
We know you came in under a difficult circumstance. As a probationary teacher you are supposed to receive two formal evaluations, but we have only done one so far. I want to go over it with you and with Troy,to clarify a few things.
DIO
On all fours switching between “cow” and “cat”.
Yes.
MOLLIE
You did not write an SLO.
DIO
Moving into three legged down dog.
Which one is the SLO?
MOLLIE
Student Learning Objective.
DIO
Correct. I did not
TROY
How is a student’s growth measured?
DIO
Switching legs.
By height. I answered that when we met at our meeting. Height matters on stage, the taller they are the more easily they can be seen. Dio demonstrates by stretching to his full height.
TROY
Yes…and I suggested using the rubric your colleague utilized from the Colorado Thespian Conference:Projection, enunciation, character development….
DIO
Sits on stage and puts the bottoms of his feet together to do floor stretches. TROY joins.
Can’t do any of that if you’re short. They won’t see you. Who cares if you can’t be seen? I knew a short actor, he was a satyr. Great guy, and a great actor according to your “Thespian Rubric”--- which I don’t remember Thespis having a last name but I guess it could have been “Rubric”- and he has a whole thing named after him because he was tall—but the short guy, the satyr, nobody could see him on stage so it didn’t matter. You understand? If the audience can’t see you they can’t hear you. That’s what made Thespis great. They say he “stepped out of the chorus and spoke solo” but he really just towered over everyone and they were getting out of his way. He stepped over the chorus. Height is how you win theatre. He applauds himself and takes a bow.
TROY
“Win theatre?”
DIO
Isn’t that what you want? Your audience on their feet cheering? Isn’t that winning?
MOLLIE
We are a public school, our students are grateful to have the opportunity to learn and perform.
DIO
Good. Send me the tall ones then. Also the short ones, I will make them tall.
MOLLIE
We do not discriminate against …shorter…height challenged students.
DIO
Who said anything about discriminating? I’ll make them tall. Bring ‘em. That’s my “SLO”-to grow confidence.
MOLLIE
Desperate for a change of subject.
Dio,Troy noted in his observation that your students were very engaged, you are clearly an engaging teacher. But your Learning Objectives were not clearly displayed.
DIO
Right. Where would you like me to do that on stage?
MOLLIE
Your colleague, the band teacher, has a large white board she puts on the field when they are outside.
DIO
Yes, she got it out of our props loft.
MOLLIE
Perhaps you could do something like that
DIO
Like what?
MOLLIE
Sorry?
DIO
Don’t be sorry.
MOLLIE
What?
TROY
See?
MOLLIE
Like the white board.
DIO
I can’t.
MOLLIE
Why not?
DIO
The band teacher has my whiteboard. Ba dump pssh. Rimshot. Vaudeville. Fun times. I love that they give me credit for theatre, but I honestly just partied.I was the party god. Then I started paying attention. Hard to ignore them when they were singing dithyrambs to me. He is lost in a memory.
TROY
We talked about the length of your yoga stretching in class.
DIO
Did you observe behaviors?
TROY
No.
DIO
Did anyone leave for the restroom and not return?
TROY
No.
DIO
Did they talk?’
TROY
No.
DIO
Were they off their cellphones?
TROY
Yes.
DIO
Why was it an issue?
TROY
Class is only 58 minutes, and you had them doing yoga for 20 of those minutes.
DIO
Yes. How long have we been doing it?
Troy pauses. Looks at his watch.
MOLLIE
Yoga stretching eats into content delivery time. You had given Troy your lesson plan, which stated “stage combat”. But you only delivered your lesson for 35 minutes of your full instructional time.
DIO
And every one was engaged, balanced and nobody got hurt.
TROY
That’s not on the evaluation rubric.
MOLLIE
Nor was it in your lesson plan, and you could easily write “balance and safety” on a whiteboard and place it on the …over on the side… for an evaluator to see.
DIO
The “wing”. Vocab. Sure. Reaching for a goblet. Would you like some grape juice? I make it myself. Sips. I have a question. Why do I need the Learning Objective posted if the kids are doing it?They don’t need to read what they’re doing. Theatre is doing.
TROY
In case anyone from the district or state comes through,they see you have complied. DIO
Which goes on your evaluation,correct? Pause. This doesn’t make any sense to me, and I’ve asked the other gods who also say it is bureaucratic nonsense. Very human. If we don’t have time for it, and there is no concrete reason for it, we don’t do it.
TROY
Dion…Dio…the fact that you insist on stating that you are a theatre god is also a point of concern. The students….idolize you.
DIO
I am The god of theatre, not a theatre god. The god OF theatre. I’m the reason theatre exists. I’m the reason I have a job. Wow. Mind blowing, huh? I created my own employment.
MOLLIE
That’s really why we’re here I suppose…that… and the fight. They do idolize you.
DIO
That’s ridiculous, they do not. I know idolizing, this isn’t it. They just respect me. Like they respected Socrates. He was a good guy, he made me think. I learned how to teach from him. Before I just partied with the casts. You do not want to be methusko on my wine and swing from the deus ex machina, lemme tell you. That was the moment I knew I needed to change.
Mollie and Troy exchange a look “this is going nowhere”.
MOLLIE
Holds her phone for Dio to see.
We received this video of your stage.
From the phone we hear the sounds of a fight; any fight, loud words, furniture crashing. I recommend Road House for our own amusement. :)
This fight was yesterday, according to the time stamp on the video.
TROY
You need to get your students and this theatre under control.
DIO
Theatre is for everyone, I am not going to start locking doors.
MOLLIE
This kind of thing cannot continue. A student videotaped this. Where were you when this happened? DIO
I don’t know.
TROY
You clearly were not managing the learning environment–this is unconscionable.
DIO
You have cameras in here. Did this come from those cameras?
MOLLIE
No…but…
DIO
Did you check those cameras to verify the date and time of the incident?
TROY
We were going to do that…
DIO
Those are not my students. Play it again. Mollie does so.That’s not my stage. He points at the phone . That’s a red brick proskene, this one is blonde.That’s not even this stage. Also, I see a whiteboard on the stage in the left wing…(he traces the phone screen with his finger) there, it says “Learning Objective”…OH— There is a crash from the phone— but a kid slammed into it so I can’t read what it was.
MOLLIE and TROY are silent, staring at the phone.
DIO
You didn’t look at the video taken from inside this theatre, because you assumed –based on how I run classes and my demeanor–that my kids would be unruly. That I would leave the theatre unattended and then there would be a fight. So you stormed down here under a pretense, to openly attack me. No–to falsely accuse me. Hoping…? What is your endgame? Which is a great play by Samuel Beckett. Absurdism. Which, frankly, I'm beginning to feel this exchange has become. Absurd. Negative. Your assumption that everyone else is the problem is why there is no hope in this building. I was only sent to investigate, to observe and report back- not attend meaningless meetings and have you grade me. You don’t get to grade me. I am a god. I came to assess you. Theatre is eternal, she has outlived war, famine, plague and incompetent leadership. Your school needs me, but thinks it does not. And so my assement is: I do not believe I will stay here. There is no joy.
TROY
Joy has nothing to do with theatre...
DIO
Ok, you're the expert. Assessment over. I’m outta here.
He stands and stares at them.
You were expecting smoke or clouds or flying? You go. I will finish my grapes. He waves his hand dismissively. The humans are excused.
MOLLIE and TROY turn and exit. DIO shrugs,downs his grape juice and begins the yoga move exalted warrior. He laughs uproariously and shouts NEXT!
Lights out.
SCENE
No comments:
Post a Comment