In the ten minutes that I have between writing reherasl notes for last night, and leaving for Boulder to rehearse the other show the notes are not for this morning, I wanna complain. It is why you all read this blog, anyway, and I do not wish to disappoint.
Let us not overlook the delightful machine that is the Colorado Department of Education
In the past, I've only taken umbrage with their unfriendly website, and the fact that they will not, under any circumstance, accept anything through the US Mail. This issue came up when I renewed my license in 2016, when the CDE had made everything electronic in a world that was not. How do teachers from the western slope renew their licenses? They have to have less access to technology than I do! I have no scanner in my home, which is apparently an expectation for all teachers. There was a fax at school, but the CDE would not accept a fax. Nothing I had done in the building for my renewal hours existed on a central site, they were just certificates sent through email, which I then had to download and reload into my renewal paperwork. The point here is that an entire machine, that is supposed to support education, is so far out of touch with the realities of education, that it makes remaining in education more frustrating. I almost didn't renew, I was that angry. I had an IB certificate that was on paper, and had to take a photo of it with my phone, send it to my email, download it onto my laptop, and load it into the paperwork. That was the moment that I called, stayed on the phone pushing buttons until a fucking human being answered, and said "I quit."
Clearly I did not quit, as I was able to renew in 2021 without any issues. I now work in a district that tracks everything electronically, and uploading it to the renewal "paperwork" caused no anxiety when I renewed last year.
Then, FOOLISHLY as it turns out, I decided to get my lang arts endorsement in April of 2022. I've been dancing around it for years, and with the building change and Covid, I think I'm done with theatre. At least high school theatre. At least post covid high school theatre. In public education. I feel that was distilled nicely. ANYWHOO, years ago, LittleFun HS cared not a whit that I did not have the endorsement, I just taught lang arts. So I honestly had no idea it even mattered.
Until I applied to teach summer school lang arts.
I was told on no uncertain terms by my building principal that I would not be allowed to teach summer school language arts to people who failed language arts, in an environment that sounds panicky (I received an email from a summer school principal begging me to finish my application), without the "proper endorsement". (The same summer school principal contacted me a second time, and when I told her my endorsement was in process, she said "Whatever, we'll figure it out." But by then I had accepted the Boulder directing gig and it was no longer a conversation, but I appreciated her acknowledgment that a CERTIFICATION OF SOME KIND is fine for SUMMER SCHOOL.) A teacher is a teacher, dude. Why are you being such a douche about someone willing to give up their summer to teach people who didn't care enough to pass during the school year? I'm feeling prettty fucking unappreicated, Pal!
This is where I remind my loyal six readers that, of the 20 years I have been teaching, fully six of them have been language arts. Without the endorsement.
I also applied to teach Humanities at a new performing arts school, an opportunity I was honestly feeling very positive about. However, when they called to interview me, they wanted the lang arts endorsement. For humanities? By that time, in May, I had already applied for the endorsement, and could prove it. But they would not even interview me without it. OK then.
So, I realized that all of those applications for lang arts jobs went unanswered because I don't have the endorsement, and the endorsement is weirdly being held up "IN Process" at the CDE for reasons unknown. Of course I try to call. Of course it's impossible to reach a human. RE intro sentence "machine". Of course I cannot stay within one tense when I'm this agitated.
I have now lost a humanities job, a summer school job and the opportunity to switch to LA in my own building, due to this stupid, undefined hold up. So I start my summer directing gigs, and casually check the CDE site every few days. I assume, when it's clear, they'll email me and let me know, but I check anyway.
Good thing I checked. I received NO notification that my application was being halted due to fingerprinting. Their banner on my application read "Due to an internal audit for fingerprints, yours were selected and you must resubmit your fingerprints."
Fucking Kidding Me.
"Internal Audit" my ass. Fingerprints Do Not Change. You've had mine for 20 years. What sort of "audit" dictates that I spend $54 to go get printed again? It's your audit, you pay.
So now, I have $80 in for the endorsement I still do not have two months after applying, and $54 in for fingerprints they already have.
At Colorado Fingerprinting, the lovely young woman explained why she was taking four prints of each finger. She said my prints have worn down over the years---she said "We see this a lot with educators, I don't know why"---and told me they might not be usable.
Blink. Blink.
So, for those in the back row, there's a possibility these prints will not be good enough for the CDE to read. At which point I must return to have them redone, this time having moisturized and hydrated the day before, hoping for a better print. And if it doesn't work, I don't know what the next step is, as they no longer do physical prints with ink on your distal phelanges any more.
Blink. Blink.
Once again, because I'm beginning to think that I'm the crazy one, My Prints Are Already On File At the CDE and with the CBI.
Once again, fingerprints do not change over time. They fade. But they do not change.
I expect to be back here in a week, updating all of you on my second visit to Colorado Fingerprinting.
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