This Is Why I'm LIke This: The Best Jobs To Deal With People At Their Worst. Restaurants

  This is not a very long post as one time I wrote a play about working in a restaurant, and I pretty well saturated the issues. Things have not changed in 20 years as near as I can tell, based on my time as a customer and the stories I hear from my rides.

  The Patriarchy Is Alive And Well
   The last time I worked in a bar/restaurant was over 20 years ago. I worked for an aggressively sexist Greek who believed only men could bartend and attractive women should wait tables. It never occurred to him that he was wrong, and with a few exceptions--me included---nobody rocked his boat. His business, his rules. He was generous in other ways, he always sold Girl Scout cookies for the local troop, and every holiday each employee received a free turkey for their dinner. There was a lot of  shrugging and "He's Greek " when the misogyny reared, but I've never agreed with that excuse, any more than "Boys will be boys" is an acceptable excuse for any behavior.  You aren't in Greece and your behavior can be unlearned.  The catch is you have to want to unlearn it. I had a ride last week who was lamenting that her bar manager wouldn't promote her to bartender, despite her years of experience, because she's female. It's 2019, dude, really? I shared my story with her and she said "Ya, he's Spanish. Why are they like that?"  Because those who can change the situation are just shrugging and saying "He's Spanish", that's why. This behavior needs to be unlearned, and it continues because it is allowed to do so.
   I was fortunate in my last gig to have a bartender who was not tolerant of any sexual harassment from customers. I watched him physically throw a man out the front door when the guy grabbed my butt. That sort of crap seems to have slowed down as owners learned that they can't keep anyone employed if they allow it, and as women started slapping the hell out of the offenders. Nobody wants to have to do that, and in this climate I suppose you'd get sued for assault. We've managed to get customers to change, but not managers.

  Liars, Cheaters, Runners and Generally Crappy People
   All restaurants struggle with people who make up stories in order to get something for free. From blaming wait staff for poor behavior, to claiming their food was wrong to pulling a dine and dash. I remember when I was younger working in a high end spot that hated all high school dances for that reason. Every dance, they'd have a dine and dash, no matter how closely they watched the table. Unless you can sacrifice a waiter and a busser to follow the kids to the bathroom, you're at risk. This behavior has not changed, and when these people get older, they become more advanced with their schemes. Like ordering an $800 bottle of champagne, and then claiming the waitress got it wrong when the bill arrives.
  There was one late night at my last gig, I had a table of five women out for girls' night. One of the women was rude to me every time I came over and I couldn't figure out what I had done. Her friends watched her behave poorly and said nothing. They were within eye line and earshot of the bar, and received stellar service. At the end of the night, the nasty woman paid and wrote a long diatribe on the back of the credit card receipt, which contained no tip. She said I was rude, I had commented on her clothes and hair and that they waited too long for their drinks. As I said, they were right next to the bar. When I showed the bartender the note, which I took personally and felt attacked over, he shook his head and said "I heard them talking, kryssi. You look like the woman her husband left her for. You were doomed when they walked in."
  "But her friends didn't even try to make it up by leaving cash or even attempting to be kind."
  "Why would they? They're bitches. Nothing you could have done."
  It took him a bit to talk me down, but as I said, they were right next to the bar and he had heard the entire evening unfold. I have to pay my rent. You didn't tip me because your husband left you? How does that help your situation? And shame on your friends, who knew good and damned well what you were doing, for not stepping up or saying something or leaving a $20 under a drink glass. Generally, when the person paying doesn't understand tipping, some functioning soul at the table quietly leaves cash for the server as an apology. Not these women.

    Laundry List
   A drunk guy who throws up in his beer, and thinking no one is watching, drinks it.
   Breakups. Why are you doing this in public? It's worse, not better.
   Rotten kids who cannot manage to behave for ten minutes even at their mom's birthday dinner, and the useless dads who offer no help at all.
   Smarmy guys trying to seduce  and impress a woman with their flashy watches and capped teeth. Both parties at the table are sad to watch. It's like a car accident and you can't take your eyes off of it.
   The sober friend trying to get the obnoxious drunk friend out of  the bar before punches fly or the police arrive. God Bless You, Sober Friend, I hope this is the last time you go out with this loser.
   Wait staff going through medical issues but unable to take the night off because they need the money. Covering for these people is an example of People At Their Best. The fact that they could not call in sick without losing their pay or their job: People At Their Worst. Management needs to be better about this. In my experience, if you can get a gig with people willing to cover for you, hang on to it. People are selfish. When you show your selfish petty pig face, you are at your worst.
   Wait staff sneaking a sandwich to the homeless guy out back.

    There is no need to go on, this is old territory. You got it.