This Is Why I'm Like This: The Best Jobs To Deal With People At Their Worst. Today we are talking about shared ride drivers

  All jobs are a challenge, of course, but jobs that deal with the public are their own unique brand of hell. Not all people are terrible all of the time, but in certain circumstances, you get to see all of the spectrum, from the kind and grateful to the manipulative and accusatory to "What century is this?" Experiences here are from jobs I have worked, but not all the stories are mine. Those that are not have been altered but carry the same moral. Today it is the shared ride driving gig.

Drivers Are Like Bartenders, Priests and Therapists
   Calling a ride after a nasty breakup, sitting in the front seat weeping. We will hold your hand and help you breathe.
   Afraid you may get fired from the job you are going to because of an incident that was not your fault. Chattering away at the driver in the front seat to work through your nerves.
   You've just moved to Denver and still cannot find a job in your field of engineering, and really need the interview to which you are going to work out.
   Apologizing for the eight puppies you are transporting to the vet, who are well behaved and cute as hell, but your car broke down this morning and the vet cannot reschedule and you are so so sorry and do I know a good mechanic who is honest?
   Sitting in the back on a shared ride discussing your new diet, your workout regiment, how the neighborhood has changed and your workout regiment and your diet... then when you disembark, the other pax who was interfacing with his cell phone on a molecular level, suddenly comes to life and starts chatting about the housing market and how the neighborhood  has changed.
  And so on and so on... This is the fun part, listening to everyone's stories.

   The Good
   I'm not a chatterer when I drive, and I am unnerved when a pax (short for "the passenger") sits in the front seat. It's fine if there are three or four humans, but when it is one tiny human who casually sits up front, I feel weird. Gratefully, none of the front riders have done so because they wanted to kill me and steal my innovative and unique Subaru Crosstrek. But they have been chatty. I do prefer those who sit in the back on their cell phone and ignore me. I figured out how to hear the directions and play the radio at the same time, so there is not an awkward silence everyone is trying to combat. These people inevitably want to know if I like driving for the company, and is it my full time job? I was hesitant at first to share any personal info, and I even pulled my old waitress trick of feigning an accent and creating a fictional character. But it felt like lying when the person was in my front seat for ten minutes. So I have acquiesced to telling them I am a teacher, which usually unplugs an array of emotions and memory from the riders who have favorite teachers and wish to commiserate with our pay rate. I realize I am not bitching about how much I make, I'm just driving for the ride company, they're filling in the blanks. These people have all tipped me generously upon drop off. The first time it happened, I actually teared up. She was the tiny human in the front seat who had left her car at her friend's house (I drive this type of pick up a lot) the night before after clubbing. She is an engineer who works at the Fed Center, and makes twice what I do as a teacher at the age of 25. I'm not sure if I cried over the tip or the poor career choice that I have made. I believe these people are good, and would have tipped regardless of my sad career choice. They were kind, appreciative, chatty, and one ride three men were actually stumbling over one another trying to tell their high school teacher stories on the short ride. Their tip matched the ride cost.
    A lot of drivers hate service dogs. First, it's easy to scam a harness online and pretend your chihuahua is a service dog, which by law I have to take. If the thing pees in my car, it's game over for my day, and possibly longer depending on how quickly I can get it cleaned up. My personal experience has been with legit service dogs, and the only issue I've had was with a chihuahua/german shepard mix (right? weird little thing) that shed everywhere. I have a blanket for them so the pax doesn't feel like they have to force the animal to stay on the floor. I enjoy listening to these people, as so far the ones I've had are training their dogs. I learned all about how they sense seizures, cause that one vexes me, and the pax continued kindly and sternly "If a service dog ever comes up to you without its owner, follow it. The owner is in trouble. They're trained to get help."

  The Clueless
   Last summer the question came up in the theatre company where I was teaching regarding kids taking shared rides to and from class and rehearsal. This was a new phenomenon, and the kids were as young as 13. Because it was new, the admin had no idea if they had any say in it, but we agreed that we did not like it as teachers. We had to wait for a ride with the kids, and if it was a shared ride, we got jumpy. It was decided a note would be sent to parents requesting that they cease, as we were unsure of our rights if something happened to a child. Also, you're so busy you can't get your kid to and from rehearsal? You need to re-evaluate your life, but that's another story. As a driver, I have learned you have to be 18 years old to have an account, and it is against policy for anyone not on the account to ride. In other words, if you don't match the picture of "kryssi", I can't pick you up. These, again, are parents trying to get their kids to various events. They mean well, but the policy is clear. It was the best way around a sticky situation I suppose. So far the parents have feigned ignorance that they are breaking policy and there has been no shouting, but I think they know and they're just trying to pull something.
   Asking for phone numbers from your young female driver. Or better, taking a shared ride, which is a money saving move and I don't recommend it AT ALL, and then texting your driver after they drop you and continue to drop off the shared rider "Hey, after you drop him off come back to my place." Because you're a big spender, sure, I'd love to return to your crappy apartment.
  The term "shared ride" inside the umbrella "Shared Ride" is confusing. It means that you agree to pick up another pax en route to your location, and the ride could take longer if they need to be dropped off before you. It's kind of a mess, and frankly not worth the savings. I don't recommend it.
   Downtown has one way streets. Our app tells us which side you are on. We will navigate to you based on the side of the street. If you change sides, we cannot get you without circling the block. And if you move again, we have to circle again. I get that you're drunk, try to log this info in your brain now so you can access it later.

  The Weird
   Sometimes people are just off. Like they sit in the front seat and rummage through your glove box. When asked to stop, they rummage through the door pocket and look under the seat. What has happened in your life, honey?

  The Bad
   Anyone who pukes in your car is considered "bad" in my book, but I get that you are not aware you are going to hurl until you are in a moving vehicle. You've ruined my night, but if you were a decent human being and apologetic, it's just a risk we all take when we drive after 11 pm. You're qualified as "bad" because you cost me time and money, but you were apologetic and tipped well.
  We do not have car seats. Why would we? There is a company designed specifically for schlepping children, and I bet they use drivers with car seats. So it's rude to expect a driver to transport you and your small children without a car seat. It's against the law, you should know that. Therefore, yelling at a driver who has no car seats only sets an example for your children. Congrats. I'm sorry that your brain doesn't fire well enough for you to think ahead and write "need car seats" in the comments, or even, God Forbid, schlep the seats yourself. Your children, your responsibility. I get that it's frustrating as hell to get kids around if your car is in the shop, but I can't help you.
   Red Rocks. Ugh. Getting pax to the concert is fine, but they cannot seem to manage shared rides for return, as they shut off all the access roads. Pax have to walk to Morrison to get a ride. That's messed up. Although I did learn that when dropping someone off-we have to use the lower lot- if the pax rolls down the window and claims to be handicapped, they'll let you drop them at the top. No proof necessary. HA! I think you can park up there, maybe,and just wait for the end of the concert, I think some drivers are doing that, but there's limited space. Now they seem to be aware of the issue and I see there is a cue, like at the airport, near Red Rocks. But once those are taken, really, you're walking to Morrison for a ride home.
 
  Worse
   What about the fact that it is my car, my own personal property that I am using to make a living, and therefore I have the right to refuse a ride or kick anyone out for any reason are you not getting? Now, I need to make money, so I'm not going to kick you out because I don't like the way you look. But I can if I feel uncomfortable, or if you truly reek of pot and BO to the point that I think my upholstery won't recover, or you keep changing your drop off point. I don't have to pick you up if you don't match the picture, as there is a scam out there now with people stealing rides...sigh. If there's a business intended to help people, there are people who will find a way to exploit it.
   "Worse": hurling in the car, is when you are obnoxious, and then you throw up all over yourself and the car and the floor and the door and the closed window, and then demand to end the ride. Then upon leaving the car, from the opposite door because you don't want to be near your own mess, you look at your driver and say "It's not that bad." You've just ended that driver's night, they have to go off line and clean out their car. Some of these people are career drivers, this kind of an incident on a high volume weekend night, can set them back over $200 in expected pay. And then you get bent when the company charges your account for the cleaning. Your driver is not the one who is wrong in this scenario, you are. And you have gone from "bad" to "worse" because you were rude.
   Calling for a ride from a remote location, like the middle of the woods, and then not meeting the driver in the nearby parking lot. Then texting them after they leave demanding to know why they left. We Don't Come Looking For You. Ever. You come to us, sweetie. I will be damned if I'm getting out of my car on the outskirts of Evergreen at 11 pm to wander the woods calling your name.
   Drunk frat boys who scream in your car and spit when they talk.
   Men who think it's OK to talk about objectifying women (I am being kind with my phrasing) in your car, and then call you a bitch when you kick them out. My car, Ass Gnome, my rules, my rights. And I will write a report, because the company supports me. So There.
   Scamming. I'm not sure how this is happening, but somehow people are getting into the car who are not the scheduled pax. They get a ride for a few blocks before the driver figures it out---usually they try to change their destination verbally, that's a good sign. They have to change it on the app. If you can't, it's because you are not the scheduled passenger. I also heard that there was a debit card scam of some kind, but I can't muster any sympathy for a driver who gives their pax their personal debit card number. That one can't be real, can it?

  And there you have the first installment of The Best Jobs To Deal With People At Their Worst. Tune in next time for "Restaurant Work".