Los Gatos Diablos: The Cast

1 June 2017

Gatos Diablos: The Players

“Da Bear”.  The oldest of the cats, she has buffed up and her winter fur puts ten pounds on her stocky body. She’s aging and not as agile as she once was, but she can teach the youngest how to kill. Since Harper moved out, she has taken to sleeping directly on my head. Her purr sounds like a bird song.

“Smol”. Not yet a year old, jet black like Da Bear  but agile, lanky and able to leap four feet directly into the air for no apparent reason. She will also tear from the back yard into the house, fur poofed crazily, fleeing an unforeseen predator. She is very focused while stalking, and has been seen with animals almost her own size clenched in her jaws.

“Sock”. Is a tortie we refer to as “Jim’s unemployment cat”, as he got her when he lost his job in a company buy out. He named her Sock, which is totally lame but better than what G and H weirdly call her : "Sockie Lockie Artichokie", which does not rhyme . She is eight years old and the quietest of the killers---which is why she remains “Sock”, the miceies and bunnies do not hear her coming. Also she plays mercilessly with her prey, she gives them a head start, and then pounces, looking confused as to why they don’t run any faster. Don’t they know she’s right behind them? No, they don’t, because she’s silent. Sock. To add insult to injury, Sockie Lockie has been witnessed actually eating her prey. If one is unfortunate enough to be on the patio writing one's blog and hears what sounds like the dog gnawing on a bone, one should not look up to confirm the source of the sound. It is not the dog, and there are bones, plural. Ugh.

“Strumph”, also a tortie or maybe a calico mix and also her real name. “strumph” is German for “sock” or “stocking” (we think), so we have a pair of socks. Jim calls her "Bitey", you can pet her exactly three times before she chomps on your hand. She kills unemotionally and quickly, rarely playing with her prey. We don’t even see her stalk, only because she has walked into the house with a dead mouse in her mouth do we know she is a killer. Which is circumstantial and will never hold up in court.

“The Dog". His name is Marty (Feldman) and he is a mix of Pug and Something Satanic with Long Legs. He can jump straight up four feet in the air from a standing position, like Smol, but is more unnerving because he’s a dog. He is not sure what his role is. He has been with us a year and a half, what they now call a “rescue” instead of “pound puppy”, which is accurate: we sprung him from the joint where he was recovering from having his eye pop out. He is from Kansas and that is all we know. His first year he just followed the old lab Sundown, whose job it was to chase the cats when outside and bond and snuggle with them inside. He learned nothing at all from Sunny D, and instead leaps and lunges at the cats and bullies them off of the bed. Then he has the nerve to yipe when they swat at him. He sniffs the corpses thoroughly, to insure that they have expired, before leaping off in another direction. Occasionally he takes a taste to sample the cuisine, but it is never to his liking.He follows the cats leads when on the hunt and hunkers down to watch them. He has learned enough to not interfere, but not enough to not try and pounce 

  "Sir Not Appearing In This Story". Emma, aka "Fatty Fat Fat", has gone to live with Harper and so is not featured in the current stories. She is fat and black and fat. Emma is technically Genoa's cat, but when it came time to shove someone into a carrier to be Harper's Kitty, Harper's Kitty Aiden (aka "Da Bear") was not having any. So Emma went because she didn't fight.

And there you have them, ladies and gentlemen! Playing Daily In Lakewood!