Friday, June 16, 2017

This Is Why I'm Like This:This One Time When I Was Nominated For A Thing

 




    The Friends episode where Joey is nominated for a "Soapy" has me reminiscing....

     Years ago, Denver had an award called the Denver Drama Critics Circle Award. It was long enough ago that we had two major newspapers and a smattering of smaller papers with full time theatre critics, and the beautiful Holley Bartges was one of Denver theatre's fiercest advocates, God Bless Her Soul, I truly miss her.
      It was long enough ago that I was bumbling through my own theatre company's identity, raising two beautiful toddlers and being a teacher was not even on my radar.
      It was long enough ago that  I was a functioning member of the Denver theatre community instead of Schleppy the Clown, which is how I refer to myself as a teacher.
      The category was "Best Original Play", and I had written Paul's Place,  which was pretty much Waitress without music years before Waitress. I have a singular gift for writing things way before they are popular. I have begun to suspect that someone is following me and stealing my ideas, and then rewriting them and getting rich. Or just doing it better than I can. There is a precedent: In 1989 my first play, Legalize Wisdom was produced by Edward Albee. It was essentially Will and Grace  nine years before they even aired. I'm not kidding, happy to give you a copy if you don't believe me. It was produced again in Denver in 1995. Just saying.
       So the entire cast and I decided we'd make a night of it at the Arvada Center, where the awards were to be held. I really wanted to wear a velvet skirt/tank combo, but I wanted to look better, so logically I did not eat for two days before the awards.
       Upon arrival to the ceremony, with an empty stomach,I proceeded to pound chardonnay like I was one of my children and it was a juice box.
        I lost to a show that had been written by women ( I recall two women accepting the award)and produced in Boulder. The other nominee that I recall in the category was my friend Brian who had created The Merchant of Auschwitz, a reconstruction of The Merchant of Venice. We talked briefly before the awards, I think, I may not have made any sense. I have a vague sense that he just smiled at me a lot.I also think we were at odds at the time, or something, over something stupid, I'm sure.
        When the winner was read, I celebrated as if it had been me. I'm not sure if I was excited that another female playwright won, or that we had enough playwrights in Denver to qualify as a category in the first place, or empty stomach + chardonnay + adrenaline. Likely the later.
         In my recollection the entire cast stared at me and laughed. I don't think that reaction is in fact impacted by "it was long enough ago" or "I was drunk". That's pretty much how people respond to me at public events. People stare and laugh. At least they used to. Now they just fire me.
         It was long enough ago that I had friends willing to drive my sodden ass home, while I lay in the back of the car and asked them to please, stop turning right and driving over speed bumps.
         I left the only proof of this event---my certificate declaring that the play was nominated---under my seat at the Arvada center.
         So I could be making this up.
         I suspect I could also tell you that I won, as it was 1999 and there is no way to prove any of this even happened.
         It was, after all, long enough ago...

      Scene.




From Left Director Kelly Westback, Todd Black, Julie Freshman, Amy  Rome, Shannon Sterrett, Chris Guerrero, Ashley Grainger, kryssi, Charles Wingerter and on the bar, Mary Gay Sullivan.

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