5 July 2026
His Nextdoor post read "Nobody here gives a damn, but we're moving back to Tennessee. Colorado is boring. We were out yesterday hiking and biking and there was nobody around. I don't get this isolationism..."
I do not respond to people like this directly. "Nobody here gives a damn, we're moving" is an unnecessary post unless you're looking for a fight. I have no interest in fighting. He's leaving, why does it have to be A Whole Thing?
Just move. Literally--nobody cares dude. Buh bye. Also, Dear, many of us are watching the fires burning around our state and are actively figuring out how we can help. Sorry you're bored.
Now that I have that out of way, let me tell you a story about my neighbor-years ago- from Louisiana, and a current colleague who is also from Louisiana. I had the same conversation with each of them about fifteen years apart.
They both struggled with the culture here. My neighbor chose to relentlessly charge up the street with food or a random gift, inviting herself in and talking nonstop. I felt invaded. I am socially ackward on a good day, and alarmingly passive when faced with this kind of behavior, which to me reads as bullying and to her read as friendly.
My colleague is laid back, and clearly lives and works in a completely different time zone than I do. His pacing would doom him in theatre, but he teaches film so it doesn't matter to me how fast he moves. He thinks the Louisiana school system is better at discipline than ours, and I have no choice but to nod because I've never worked there, only here. He also feels the same lack of what he believes is "community" and what I believe is "smothering" that he had back home.
After a year of choosing which invitations to accept and understanding her mindset, and a year of listening to his tales of How Great Is Louisiana, I found myself having the same conversation with my colleage that I had with my neighbor fifteen years ago. I asked both first what it was about the south that was so different.
"It's a southern thing" was essentially the answer both times. They want to talk to one another. They need to force other people to listen to their inner thoughts.There is a relentless expectation of engagement no matter what a person is talking about. They like to cook gumbo, gather for picnics and graduations and promotions and stop light installations, share their concerns, their racist pontifications (on both sides, as my colleague is Creole) and trauma. Mostly trauma. Largely trauma dumping.
I enjoyed my conversations with my colleague, and felt that it was definitely more two sided than those with my neighbor. He is, however, unequivocally home sick and I hope he returns to New Orleans so he can live his best life because he really hates it here.
Their descriptions of their beloved "southern life" were both dripping with trauma. I argue that is not community, that's trauma bonding. Potato---potAHtoe.
It was then my turn. I am an OC-Original Coloradan. With the exception of a brief stint at the University of Houston, I've been here my whole life. I explained to them the Jeremiah Johnson philosophy, of which all OC are keenly acquainted.
First, I had to explain to them who Jeremiah Johnson was. Apparently nobody south of us has seen the film, but they do know who Robert Redford was. So that's a start.
I assumed that once the plot was explained, I would be able to just wait while the pieces clicked. Alas, they did not. Either time.
So all in all in conclusion to sum up: y'all screwed things up pretty nastily down there during the Civil War, and folks came out here so they could live their lives in peace.
We don't need relentless carport gatherings and beauty parlor gossip sessions. We like to be alone. We are comfortable in our own company. We don't want neighbors constantly in our yards yakking at us. Occasionally is perfect, but constant is too much. We like being alone.
That's why we moved out here.
We have a different community. We schlep horse trailers to help relocate livestock during fires. We offer spare rooms and couches to those displaced by fires, or stranded by snow storms. We shovel each other's driveways and rock one another's stuck cars out of snow banks. We bitch about drought regulations while following them.
And then we go home and read a book and have a beer. We have community--it's just different than yours. We are also "isolationists" outside --as in outdoors-- enjoying the spectacular scenery. Two things can be true.
There is no humidity here. There is fresh air, educated people, hikers, snowboarders, runners, skiers---notice how these are individual activites? We're progammed for "isolation" and we like it that way. It's what we signed up for. We're very happy.
It's fair that you don't like it. Cool; don't move here. But to move here and then be a dick because you moved here and we aren't the south is a jerky thing to do. That's a you problem, friend, keep my state out of it.
I know I won't like it there, so I don't move there. I stay here.
See how it works?
I don't move there, attack the residents for Not Beiing Like I Am and then gather my Scattegories and stomp home.
That's the difference. That's it. Simple.
I did not respond to your post with anger or even at all. I made a few statements and conclusions based on my own experiences in my own little blog that you would not like,and that's OK because it's not a public thread. That isn't an attack. "You're boring, we're moving" is an attack.
That is another big difference friend. Instead of yelling back at you behind a keyboard, I synthesized your post into my own experiences and drew a reasonable and personal conclusion.
Bye Felicia.
Safe Travels.
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