Day 11

 

    And here we are. 

    I have missed the last day of school, check out, my anniversary, Memorial Day weekend, 2,000 hours of sleep and my yearly ritual of cleaning so I can begin summer.

    It's Tuesday, 30 May. 

    I am not getting better. In some moments, I'm getting worse, but "better" is a kid with a dripping ice cream cone just out of reach of me, clawing my way out of the sewer. I feel "better" so I drive to school to complete my checkout, which I promised to do when I did not go back last week. I have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. I almost wrecked my car twice en route due to a coughing fit followed by a moment of grey out. Done out of responsibility because I said I would. I am NOT that important, and neither are my keys or badge. Yet there I was, obediently following through as I said I was like every fucking hateful white Christian girl ever.

    So I got to the school and pretty much threw my keys and badge because I'm coming back next year, WHY DO I HAVE TO TURN THIS STUFF IN IT'S STUPID?!!!! They literally couldn't wait.

    We've entered anger. I am pissed AF that I am this sick. I am always sick at the end of the school year, that's enough to make me grumpy. Last year I actually got Covid, interrupting TWO rehearsals I had going on as well as the end of the year at school.

    What's particularly unnerving, is that I've had Covid twice in 12 months, and now this...unidentified, unending "bronchial virus" that waxes and wanes with sinus and ear pressure. The crazy pained abs are expected with this cough, but I have coughed/choked so intensely that twice this week I almost lost consciousness.

    Watching Breaking Bad was fun, but with the sinus issue The Meg is a better choice. Underwater. Can't hear anything, anyway.

    And I have laryngitis. I cannot speak. I can squeak. I can rasp. 

    Really?

    So I'm mad.

    Let's see what tomorrow brings.