The setting is the interior of a two story house, deliberately made to look like a "converted posset mill", or other farce inspired interior. In that vein, there are four doors upstairs and four doors downstairs, SR that leads to the kitchen and through to a wrap around deck outside. This is a nice, Colorado home with delightful outdoor living space that we never see in the play.
Sun is shining through the windows, BEA is descending the stairs. She is a woman (or man identifying as a women, or a drag queen) in her mid fifties. She is carrying a large, blue and orange glass peacock. Frank is never seen, only heard from the deck where he is grilling.
BEA
Frank , this was from Eric, right? He's coming over I should put it out. She holds it aloft. FRANK is not on stage and clearly cannot see what she is holding, but she pretends that he can.
FRANK
Voice from off No, that was a white elephant three Christmases ago. You stole it from your sister at the end of the night.
BEA
Why would I do that?
FRANK voice
You liked it.
BEA
Bea turns the peacock over in her hands. Why? turns it upside down. Oh I see now. Ok I think I'll still put it out. As she reaches the bottom stair, the door opens and her son ERIC enters. He is in full drag and is stunning, this is not a gag. He is a professional. He has a full mustache and beard that are trimmed to perfection, and long strawberry blonde hair.
ERIC
Happy Mother's Day! He crosses to kiss her cheek.
BEA
It's father's day.
ERIC
Of course it is. Yelling toward the deck Happy Father's Day Dad!
FRANK
Thank you!
ERIC
What time is my sister expected.
BEA
They should be here shortly.
ERIC
SHE should be here shortly. Why do you enable that? She's female.
BEA
Pauses and stares at Eric in a dress and makeup.
I dunno. Maybe I like them better.
ERIC
Whatever who cares. Hands Bea a wrapped gift. Happy Birthday.
BEA handing him the peacock .
Merry Christmas.
KAYLEN enters, yelling to the back deck.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
FRANK
Thank you, Sweetie
KAYLEN hands BEA a wrapped gift, identical in size to the one ERIC has given her.
ERIC takes both gifts from BEA and puts them on the coffee table.
ERIC
It's father's day, lameo, not his birthday.
KAYLEN
So you confiscated his gift because it's not the right day? I can give dad a present whenever I want: he's my dad. Yelling to the deck Dad, I gave mom your gift but Eric put it on the coffee table. Just so you know.
BEA
He doesn't care. Wine? she crosses to the kitchen
KAYLEN
I have a great new drink recipe, it's called the Bees Knees. We have gin and lemon juice, right? I had it at the distillery in Lakewood, they brew their own gin.
ERIC
Hence the title "Distillery", where they distill, not brew.
FRANK voice from
Don't bait your sibling, Eric.
ERIC yelling
She's my sister dad, why do you enable her?
BEA
Stop it. Ok. I asked everyone over so I could tell you something.
ERIC
It's fathers day.
KAYLEN
Why is it about you?
BEA
It's never about me. The only way to get you here was to dangle a holiday under your noses.
ERIC
Rude.
BEA
I'm retiring. I quit. I am going to live out the rest of my time here in the house with your father, doing whatever.
FRANK
I'm not retiring, I'll be at work, Bea. We talked about this.
BEA
I will be alone in this house, living out the rest of my life doing whatever, alone, while your father grills brats in perpetuity on the deck.
FRANK
I like my deck. I paid a lot of money to have this built the way I wanted it built.
KAYLEN
Leave him alone, mom, he likes his deck. Let him live out there if he wants.
BEA
I was not suggesting...I don't care if he moves out there, it's not the point, why is everything a fight with you.
ERIC
K. Neat. Stop. So why'd you need to tell us in person?
BEA
Because alone means alone, and it's time y'all moved out.
KAYLEN
I'm hardly ever here...
BEA
You're 30.
KAYLEN
I'm 29.
ERIC
I'm 29, dumbass, and I'm two years younger.
BEA
You're 30, I was there when you were born.
FRANK
Lunch is ready, come on out!
BEA
We'll talk details over dad's brats.
ERIC
Our last meal...
KAYLEN
Why are you so dramatic?
Bea exits through kitchen.
ERIC
It's your turn to tell her.
KAYLEN
UGH. Why can't dad?
ERIC
He lives here, he does his part.
KAYLEN
I haven't lived here since college.
ERIC
No , you came back after school and worked at that ad firm.
KAYLEN
For like ten minutes. It's not a pissing contest. Why is everything a competition with you?
ERIC
I like to win.
KAYLEN
Great, then you tell mom again that's she retired five years ago AND we don't live here
ERIC puts his finger to his nose "nose goes"
KAYLEN
Great. Bite me.
ERIC
It's not my fault that thirty years of teaching and having you as daughter made her crazy.
KAYLEN
She's not crazy, Ass Face. She's just locked into a party five years ago.
ERIC
Right. Which is completely sane. I stand corrected. Still holding his finger to his nose. It's your turn, girl.
KAYLEN pulls his hair.
Now I'll tell her.
BEA
Lunch is waiting!
KAYLEN and ERIC
Coming mom!
Play
No comments:
Post a Comment