2019, a year I had hoped would be about healing. Mending the broken and shattered previous years. Sometimes more has to be broken, I guess, for it to be put back together. I no longer hope. I have faith, as I heard Jim Carrey state "Hope crosses its fingers as it walks through the fire, Faith jumps over the fire." So. I have Faith. Like George Michael.
I have a list of Things I've Never Done, and it changes every time I think of something. I'm never retiring, so I've decided to instead have experiences and enjoy them now. Even menial. Even having to work second and third jobs.
I've never worked in a warehouse---blogs ongoing on that topic, as I will likely be there at least four days a week this summer.
I've never attended Comic Con. Even though yesterday I went to the convention center and had my first Comic Con experience, I was a year too late for Comic Con. It's now called Pop Culture Con. Which is stupid, but whatever, not my circus, not my lawsuit. The point is that technically, I still have not attended a Comic Con, but I attended Comic Con.
Harp was supposed to go with her friend Will on Friday, but he had to work at the last minute, so I was her replacement date. I've never even wanted to attend Comic Con, it sounds like a big money suck.
I wasn't wrong.
Its entire purpose is to separate you from your money.
But she paid for the tickets, so someone had to go and why not? I'd heard there were cool cosplay costumes and people watching.
I hated it immediately, because I had put some cheese sticks and a water bottle in my bag so we would have snacks---I'm a mom and we're on a budget. They rudely made me throw it all out so I could pay $4 for a bottle of water inside and $8 for a salad. Standing in line awaiting entry, I spotted the cutest little Freddy Mercury. He lifted my soul after the hefty Wolverine standing to my left. This was after my snacks were thrown out and before I knew the cost of water. So my spirits lifted.
We arrived early to ensure we would find a sweet spot in line for Cary Elwes' autograph. These curtains are set up to shield the celebrity and those receiving autographs a handful at a time from the rest of the line. We were very near the front, maybe ten people ahead of us. But there is a separate line along the edge for "fast pass", those who paid extra to wait in a faster line. They really didn't move much faster, but we got there early. I could see this being a good expenditure if you were arriving an hour into the signing, you could avoid the great General Admission unwashed. Except you're standing right next to us, not avoiding us at all. One of the fast pass women was very chatty, she had met Tom Wilson at a previous Con and was delighted that he remembered her when she saw him again, and was of course going to see him again today.
The signing was to begin at 10.15. At 10.27 Cary Elwes emerged from the curtained inner sanctum and waved at us. I tear up, my God, he looks great. I'm really going to meet the guy who is in one of my most favorite movies, ever? Harper's smile is bigger than her face leaving little room for her massive blue eyes. I look at the clock, "Why are they like that?"
"He's fashionably late." Harper states matter of factly.
The faces of those emerging after their moment with Cary Elwes were pure joy. All of my carping about paying for an autograph, which is ridiculous, he doesn't need the money, went away. People were having him sign products, like a Westley bobble head, that they could easily turn around and sell. So I suppose this is a way to discourage that? Or to make a profit cause they assume you're in it for profit? It sucks, autographs should be free and you shouldn't sell them on eBay for a quick buck. That's what I think of that.
This is Harp's first celebrity encounter and she's beside herself with glee. She's glowing and nervous. She has to choose an autograph or photo, which will it be? We've only money for one of them, and I'm pushing for a photo because that's more proof. But she decides, when the woman asks, on an autograph and she'd like him to write "As You Wish". She giggles uncontrollably as she is handed the sticky note labeling her request, and others in line are heard whispering "I'm going to have him write that!" Like Harp invented the idea, NOBODY HAS EVER THOUGHT OF IT BEFORE THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME HE WRITES 'AS YOU WISH' WITH AN AUTOGRAPH. Hilarious.
The woman directly in front of us in line is in military garb, has short hair and I misidentified her as "sir" when she dropped her cash and I returned it. (That happened twice, I'm a very honest person). She has something in a bag, that looks like a frame, and something in a poster roller. I assume it's a poster from Princess Bride. She is very focused and quiet, and when we get inside she unfurls original artwork she's created for Cary Elwes to sign. He is impressed and chats her up about how she created it, and suggests she talk to the vendors about selling her work. She is an example, I suppose, of someone doubling the value of their art by having it signed by the subject matter? Or not, it was one piece of art, likely it's hers to keep. Either way, go you, Cary Elwes had a conversation with you!
The gentlemen behind us, in full Star Trek NG garb, are discussing the ins and outs of the Fast Pass, asserting it's not a hardship to wait in a longer line and it's a waste of money. They trade stories of standing in one line with a friend in another, and managing to double the photo/autograph experience.They then begin a debate on Back to the Future, as Christopher Lloyd is also here and they may attend his panel. The shorter gentleman has a satchel with plastic covering to protect his autographs, he is getting them for two people, I am assuming a wife and friend. They are to be personalized to them, and he has opted for "As You Wish", but purchased the combo, so he's doing a photo as well. The design must match previous combos, however. This is not his first rodeo.
Two people to go and then we're in, Harper looks like she's going to faint. We can see him through the thin fabric, and comment on how great he looks and how short he actually is and can you believe we're meeting Westley? I think it'd be more fun to have him sign my favorite line from the film, which is grandpa padding his pockets and saying "Okay....allllright.....Okay", but that's not his line. I laugh to myself at how truly and deeply funny I am, then I look at Harp and almost scream "My Westley will come for me!" I can't believe how stupid excited I am to meet this man for thirty seconds. This movie is deeply ingrained in my children, they've watched it since they were wee, small enough to be afraid of the ROUS', so for a few years we just skipped that part. Even though when were at the zoo, I'd point to the Cabybaras and say "See? They're real and not mean at all."
OK, we're up. Holy shit. Entering the inner sanctum. The gentleman in charge of taking photos grins down at us, we must've looked excited, and says "I know, right?? I couldn't believe they put me in here today, I get to hang out with him all morning." Lucky bastard. Where do I sign up for that job?
Cary Elwes is stunning. I think of Tina Fey talking about celebrities on SNL, and how they look like regular people except they have better teeth and nicer watches. Cary Elwes doesn't show his teeth much, he smiles like a duck for those ahead of us getting photos, but his hair and skin are flawless. Genetics and a team of highly trained professionals are keeping this man looking fantastic. The other thing I note is the energy. He's calm, and he's...kind? He's going through his blocking, the assistant takes our money and the book we've asked him to sign with the sticky on it with our request, and slides it to him. He shakes hands and asks names, and doesn't seem bored and is not rude. This is not Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest at all, which is kinda what I expected. If you don't know my reference, watch that movie, it's perfection. Cary Elwes is genuine and authentic and grounded. He has held up a bit with the military woman, asking about her art work and genuinely interested. It's our turn and he extends his hand to Harper. "What's your name?"
She hesitates, and I wait for her to either pass out or throw up on the nice man.
"Harper," she stutters as he shakes her hand.
"Cary."
Then his hand is at mine, "What's your name?"
I took his smooth hand and I am unsure of what I said. He smiled and looked down at the book.
"Is this an original printing?"
"Not original but it's the one from before the 80's when you were on the cover meah blah smurrrr...." I just stop talking.
Harper is standing, staring, eyes wide, enraptured. She can't process it all, she's truly Star Struck in the truest sense of the phrase. She can't move. I think she's going to cry.
Cary Elwes takes her hand again and smiles, "Oh my, you're a cutie, come here." And he stepped around the counter and hugged her.
She stopped breathing.
He extended his hand to me again and I thanked him again, and we somehow stumbled out of the inner sanctum.
We decide jokingly that her behavior made him think she was special needs, and so he hugged her. Or he's a smart man who sees Star Struck all of the time, and is kind enough to be appreciative. Either way, we stumbled out and the people in line saw our faces and asked "Is he nice?"
"Ridiculously so, he hugged her!"
"NO!"
I laugh "I think if you cry he'll hug you." The women smile and say "That's gonna happen, anyway."
Harper was taking photos of the signed book, and spamming her social media with "CARY ELWES HUGGED ME AND SAID I WAS A CUTIE" as we continued to hover near the entrance. We were told by a minion we must clear and we cannot take any photos of the sign, but too late, Harper already did. I looked at her after we were fussed at and she said flatly "Don't tell me what to do."
As we digest our first encounter at my first "Con", we realize it's only 11 am.
And we're done. We can go now. Nothing is going to top this.
The illegal shot, "Don't tell me what to do." --Harper Martin
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