This Is Why I'm Like This: My family

     Sometimes, it's tough to be a parent and a teacher.
     Always it's tough to be 20 something and have mental health issues.
     Sometimes you have to let go of the past.
     Sometimes you have to believe in love.
     Sometimes you have to have faith in God or a spirit or your parents or your children or your spouse.
      Always you have have faith in God, or a spirit or your parents or your children or your spouse.
      Sometimes you forget what really matters.

     My husband has been a rock. I am not mentally OK, a fact I have had to face the last two years. I am sure he's always known that, and he loves me anyway. He never judges.  I am beyond fortunate.
     I have spent the last few years with my head up my own ass, allowing something that mattered less than my family pull my focus.
     My children inherited my mental instabilities, which sucks. They are both more talented than I am, and with that comes so much insecurity. They've both had tougher decisions to make in their early 20's than I did. Really, all I had to combat was moving to a strange state and getting everything I owned stolen.
      Yet at every crossroad, all three of these people have supported and loved me. And been frustrated by me, but still supported and loved me.
      I have struggled with writing this all down and frequently write blobs and bits in a journal.
      I own not understanding the difference between support and interference. That is my generation, we are the helicopter parents that I have come to despise.
      But we are all here. We weathered it together and did not leave one another's side.
      Sometimes you have to support and not interfere.
      Always, you must adult, even when you do not want to.

           That's all.