Sunday, October 15, 2023

Deep Thoughts by k.w.martin 14 October 2023

 

   As a fan of SNL and "Jack Handey", I've always felt like Facebook wall posts and tweets have taken Deep Thoughts' place. I'm working on Finding My Humor again through this model. If you've never heard of him, here is an example:

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” 

Here are mine this week. Still working on "the funny"::

 The medical insurance industrial complex is going to kill us. This realization seems contrary to the Hippocratic Oath "First do no harm". I think we should remind the insurance companies and medical receptionists who are the gatekeepers for our doctors that the medical professionals cannot do their jobs if we cannot see them. Of course by the time I'm admitted, after slaying the gatekeepers, I will probably just scream.

  The public education system isn't failing. It is collapsing under the weight of raising too many children. It was designed to educate, not raise, feed, clothe, counsel, discipline...essentially parent. Stop blaming teachers. And also go outside once in a while. 

  Hubie Halloween is a great movie. You should watch it.

 Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a dog? A dog who has owners and whose owners dress them up and make tiktoks with their boopie noses and soft eyes, not one who is stray or in the shelter, that's just sad. And now I'm sad. Never mind.

  Most movies shoot their "night scenes" during the day with a blue filter. Why can't we do that in the real world so we can see each other and cast shadows at night? We'd be bathed in a gorgeous blue light instead of squinting in the inky blackness. It would make changing a flat tire at night much easier.

   When you are young, remember someday you will be old. Eat your vegetables. So you can poop.

   Do something every day that your future self will thank you for. Like avoiding high crime neighborhoods and adhering to traffic signals.

   Depression is real. Get help.

   Call your mom on your birthday. Tell her you hope you interrupted something important. You'll have a good laugh together.

   "Die you gravy sucking pigs" is the best retort every written. Thank you Steve Martin.

   Sometimes finding free events when you are broke brings more joy than shelling out Big Bucks for Big Events. Something is going to make you mad at the expensive thing, anyway, so you may as well do free stuff.

    If you're good at something, work to be great at it. If you suck,keep working at it until you're good. Unless it's murder, then you should stop.

    "If you build it, they will come" only works for sports. Don't try it with theatre.

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