Square State Ruminations 27 October

 

    I overheard a student tell their friend that if they touched a Tarot card, God would kill them for trying to do his job and predict the future. I did not know God was in the business of fortunetelling. This changes everything.

    If you complain, and nobody does anything, complain some more. When still nothing changes, rethink your approach and hit something. Not anything that would cause you to break bones- like a car or a light pole- or anything that is alive like a cat or iguana. And don't hurt yourself. I like boxing gloves and punching bags. Buy those. Or knit. I hear that works too. You could knit the guy's face you want to hit and punch it all day.

    When bill collectors call, don't answer. That's why you have caller ID.

     I see quotes that extoll travel as the greatest way to learn and grow. All of the quotes are from rich white guys who could afford to travel. I can't afford to go to the grocery store. 

     The further we journey down the road of Late Stage Capitalism, the more I understand why the Irish got a reputation for drinking and yelling and fighting in pubs. 

      I think theatre is like life, except that nobody knows the script and some idiot put grandpa in charge of the light board, so we never know when the lights are going to come on, or for how long, and when we yell at grandpa he just laughs and says "Be quiet or I'll turn on Pat Boone at full volume".

    I think if teachers just behaved the way their students do, they would lose their jobs and we'd have to close the schools. That'd show them.

    As I take my weekend drive through Evergreen, I note the majestic elk as they meander across the road as if they own it. As I take my daily drive to work on Colfax, I note the same behavior from the sex workers on Spruce Street.

Square State Ruminations (renamed)19 October

     Deep Thoughts...A Third Attempt At Humoring The Purge by kryssi

     When you look back on your life and have nothing but regret, find a mad scientist who has built a time machine. They are not great for hopping around in time, and they are expensive,  but if you can find the one moment that you can alter that would fix everything, go there. Fix it. Then you won't feel so much regret all of the time. Unless you fix the wrong moment. Then you just have to live with your life choices and possibly the New Thing you messed up. Unless you're rich. Then you can do it again and mess up more things.

    I think we should apply the Ferris Bueller approach to learning anything about other countries or history. "Who cares if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car." I think we could all use a little more selfishness, don't you?

   They should stop making sequels and prequals to all movies. They just get muddled after a while, and I don't enjoy the original anymore. Eventually they go too far and negate the original, so what's the point in watching?

   Fall is the best season. It should be extended and we should get rid of summer. It's too hot. It's only there so kids get a break from school. In my plan, we would have school year round, but only four days a week, with three weeks off at Christmas. And a two week spring break. Give the kids and teachers their breaks, they're in school year round.

    If you're going to kill a snake by running over it with your car, don't just roll over it once. They are round and will roll along with the tires. The best approach is to hit the brakes as you roll over, then reverse your car and do it again. Keep doing it until the viper is deceased. You will know because it will be squished and smeared on the asphalt. Unless it is your pet snake, then you should stop and gently carry it back home into its tank before some jerk wad tries to drive over it.

    One time, I went to a Steep Canyon Rangers concert, featuring Steve Martin on banjo. I wore white in case he wanted to marry me. I walked down the aisle to the stage, there were no bodyguards or security. He was playing the banjo. I stood right below him looking up. I waited. He kept playing. So I walked back up the aisle to my husband. My husband's name is Jim Martin. I feel like that was close enough.

    Drag queens are performers. They wear costumes and play a role. Scene.

    Sometimes pizza rolls are the Best Idea Ever for a snack. And sometimes they explode in the air fryer.

Deep Thoughts by k.w.martin 14 October 2023

 

   As a fan of SNL and "Jack Handey", I've always felt like Facebook wall posts and tweets have taken Deep Thoughts' place. I'm working on Finding My Humor again through this model. If you've never heard of him, here is an example:

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” 

Here are mine this week. Still working on "the funny"::

 The medical insurance industrial complex is going to kill us. This realization seems contrary to the Hippocratic Oath "First do no harm". I think we should remind the insurance companies and medical receptionists who are the gatekeepers for our doctors that the medical professionals cannot do their jobs if we cannot see them. Of course by the time I'm admitted, after slaying the gatekeepers, I will probably just scream.

  The public education system isn't failing. It is collapsing under the weight of raising too many children. It was designed to educate, not raise, feed, clothe, counsel, discipline...essentially parent. Stop blaming teachers. And also go outside once in a while. 

  Hubie Halloween is a great movie. You should watch it.

 Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a dog? A dog who has owners and whose owners dress them up and make tiktoks with their boopie noses and soft eyes, not one who is stray or in the shelter, that's just sad. And now I'm sad. Never mind.

  Most movies shoot their "night scenes" during the day with a blue filter. Why can't we do that in the real world so we can see each other and cast shadows at night? We'd be bathed in a gorgeous blue light instead of squinting in the inky blackness. It would make changing a flat tire at night much easier.

   When you are young, remember someday you will be old. Eat your vegetables. So you can poop.

   Do something every day that your future self will thank you for. Like avoiding high crime neighborhoods and adhering to traffic signals.

   Depression is real. Get help.

   Call your mom on your birthday. Tell her you hope you interrupted something important. You'll have a good laugh together.

   "Die you gravy sucking pigs" is the best retort every written. Thank you Steve Martin.

   Sometimes finding free events when you are broke brings more joy than shelling out Big Bucks for Big Events. Something is going to make you mad at the expensive thing, anyway, so you may as well do free stuff.

    If you're good at something, work to be great at it. If you suck,keep working at it until you're good. Unless it's murder, then you should stop.

    "If you build it, they will come" only works for sports. Don't try it with theatre.

This Is Not Sustainable

 

        Like corn fuel and the housing market at any time, the approach to public education is not sustainable.

        For years we have been asked to "do more with less". At first, that meant supplies. bought kleenex, highlighters, notebooks. Science teachers bought beakers, math bough calculators, language arts  had to have kid buy their own books, That one we couldn't afford and had to pass on to the kids. 

 Then it was "do more with less" meaning students coming to us without parental support. So we stocked classroom food pantries on our own dime, became counselors because ours  were busy with administrative and testing tasks--doing more with less  meant loading more duties on counseling- mitigated arguments between friends and gave grace when Covid arrested their emotional development by two years.

 Now it is "Do more with less" meaning they heap more responsibilities on the suckers who  have stayed to cover for those who leave. I don't have enough to do teaching theatre full time. I have PLT meetings during one of my planning periods twice a week. We are short subs, so I sub one of my planning periods daily. Both of these inflictions put my own planning behind, and frankly I have it better than my colleagues. There is a teacher in a department with two open positions right now. When the long term sub quit, my colleague started writing lesson plans for five classes that he does not teach. And so far, he's doing it without financial compensation.   

This is not even the tip of the iceberg, friends. It's quite literally a fly over. A brief swoop to inform and enlighten those who may not understand why this is not sustainable.

Deep Thoughts...Not By Jack Handey

1. If you are the principal of a low income, troubled school--possibly in turnaround--it is in poor taste to drive your Mercedes to work every day.

 2.Teenagers are terrible drivers.

3.Schools are not failing, parents are.  Teachers stopped giving homework because it was not getting done at home. Parents failed, not the schools.

4. It  does not matter what content a child reads, we should support the act of reading, not attack the subject matter they are reading. 

5. Addendum to #4, we should also appreciate anyone willing to give up their own time to read to our children, not attack them  because we do not like that they are wearing the clothing assigned to the opposite sex.

6.Dolly Pardon should be put in charge.

7.If you cannot put together a coherent sentence, you should not be in a position of authority.

8. Hey kids, when you do not have any lunch,  it's OK to ask a teacher for theirs. 

9. If you have  never experienced or researched or taught or worked yourself, you should probably stop citing the research, experience, work and teaching of others as your own.

10. If you are right and everyone else is wrong  and they insist on pointing out your incorrect statements, stop listening. Lock yourself in your tower and issue directives from there. People will do what you say when you behave like a monarch.