This Is Why I'm Like This: St. Elmo's Fire

  Many years ago, when I thought I could be a journalist, I wrote some movie reviews. Even in such reviews, I could not manage to stick with the facts. Reviews are about opinion, which is great. But I also struggle with staying on track.

St. Elmo's Fire 1985

  The first thing you have to get past is the fact that you've seen these guys before, playing versions of these characters in other films, sometimes with one another. They're impossibly attractive and seem to have the money, after college, for fabulous apartments and trendy clothes.

  The second thing you have to get past is the casting choice of Rob Lowe as the "bad boy", and Judd Nelson as the young republican. Is he republican? He's a politician. And he is not any less of a bad boy than Rob, he's just dressed better. He's actually more of a jerk than anything.

  The third thing, of course, is that Rob Lowe is too attractive. He's hard to look at, it's like looking at the sun. It's almost embarrassing. I think he needs to work on that.

  Now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about the movie itself.

  The title is taken from a nautical term, for an electrical discharge that appears briefly on a ship or airplane during a storm. I am sure this is meant to illustrate the storm of facing real life after college, but I am unsure what the electrical discharge is meant to be in the film . It seems more a definition of the careers these people are having, brief and high powered but not sustainable. The acting equivalent of a one hit wonder, a shooting star, whatever. I'm sure time will tell, but to me, the title references the actors, not the characters.  Their post college struggling in the real world seems to stem from their inability to appreciate that they have jobs immediately after college, great apartments and expensive trendy clothes. So instead they make up their own drama: Alec (Judd Nelson) seems to suddenly be a philandering jerk. I'm not sure if he was like this in college, but his girlfriend Leslie (Ally Sheedy) is an idiot if that is the case. Why did she stay with him if he's like this? Kevin ( Andrew McCarthy) has been carrying a torch for Leslie for years, as all struggling writers do so they have motivation to smoke a lot and write. He also looks like every writer stereotype, who also look like every film noir detective. What is that all about? At least his apartment seems realistic as a writer, it's messy and small. Kirby (Emilio Estevez) is cursed with being named after a vacuum, and in turn is obsessed with an intern he met for five seconds,Dale (Andie McDowell) who is not used to moving much on film since she's a model. He's a waiter who wants to go to law school and works at the central bar called...St. Elmo's Fire. Because the film title makes no sense, they named the bar the same to represent the gathering place of the friends who then outgrow it...sure, which still does not line up with the idea of an electrical discharge during a storm. Is the bar the electrical discharge, attracting only young college kids whose futures are bright?

  Jules ( Demi Moore) has a lot of hair and money, daddy issues and a serious problem managing said money. Which prompts the next "St. Elmo's Fire Moment", when Billy (Rob Lowe), has to break into her apartment when she breaks down and explains the meaning of the nautical term, whilst using hair spray and a lighter to demonstrate. I have no idea what his story and demonstration has to do with her dead "Step Monster" or inability to manage money, but OK. Nothing has been cleared up for me.

  Poor Mare Winningham (who plays Wendy) is not only not part of the "Brat Pack", but weirdly the only one of the group with a job that pays poorly in social work. She has a thing for Billy---you can't have this movie without everyone pining for someone--who has a baby with his ex girlfriend but can't seem to stop playing the saxophone long enough to hold a job. I'm  unsure what other issues he may have, as Rob Lowe is beautiful and hard to look at, making it difficult to follow his story line. I think he's a mechanic. The costume looks like the one he wore in The Outsiders.

  As I am approximately the age of these people, and have seen their other movies, I feel left out of some private joke. Other people are loving this movie, understanding the story and struggle in a way that escapes me. It looks a lot like an MTV video --especially the scene with Lowe and Moore, the curtains blowing through her empty apartment while Rob lights the hairspray on fire, I couldn't help but hear "Total Eclipse of the Heart" in my head---with all the flash and cinematography but the same amount of soul. I don't connect to any of the characters or stories, and the performances do nothing to enlighten the paper thin dialogue.

   Or, it is a brilliant representation of my generation: trendy clothes, great videos and no soul.

  Wow. Now I'm depressed.

  It's fine, I'll watch MTV and feel better in no time.


  So here I am, in 2019. I've read both of Rob Lowe's books and saw him speak at the DCPA, and just now he was doing an Atkins commercial. I have no idea what has happened to anyone else in that cast, to be honest. I found this in a satchel in the garage, I don't think it was ever printed, since it was just a typed page and I don't recall writing a movie review for the UCD Advocate. In fact, I suspect this was written for my Journalism class as a rough draft, as there are no grading marks. My voice hasn't changed much, and I cleaned up some of the wretched transitions, but the core is still there. That movie represents everything that was wrong with the 80's. Also, I didn't understand it because I was paying my own way through school, working full time at B. Dalton Bookseller and managing to pay rent on the condo I shared with Jim and another roommate. My experience did not match those who got to go to college and live on campus and emerge with a great career. Maybe that was it. I don't sound nearly as bitter as I know I was. Maybe that was my attempt at being a "journalist". I dunno man....I hope you enjoyed it.