26 June 2026
My friend Andrew died a year ago.
Sometimes you don't tag an event until you see the date in writing.
I felt him around a few months ago. I assumed it was becuase that's when he "knew" his diagnoses was terminal, or when he started to feel poorly.
ANYWAY.
Pony School 2026
I did not post daily as I had hoped. Turns out 60 is old and I would come home very tired.
Also, I chose to pick up The Stand again and I was reading instead of writing. Which I say is perfectly reasonable.
In addition, plain preschool pony camp is not nearly as entertaining as wrangling the ponies was.
Our characters this year have not changed too much. The Director was here week one and then went on vacation, so AL was running things in the office with Improv Office Mananger. The elder teacher Jeep was doing science instead of teaching a class. Ree is a newer teacher, Crochet Headbands is a new co teacher, Smurf is my co teacher and Mines was promoted to lead teacher the second week when they fired Mean Words. The Mormon Bros are both there. The oldest was on his mission last year and his brother was my co Mustang teacher. The older is back and caring for the ponies with the Mustangs and Cowboy Boots, and his younger bro is doing afternoon ponies and is primarily a floater. And the office floater/co teacher Piper who I am naming after her dog that she talks about constantly always greets me with a big smile, a story about her dog and that she's going to the pool after work. She's been there a few years, she's in her early 20's.
I don't want to use real names, and I get bored with initials. So they get descriptors. Like teaching "sign" names to my Peer to Peer students, we take an element of the person in the name. IE Val is the letter "V" in sign, but you rotate the V in a circle to indicate movement: Val doesn't sit still. I am the letter "K" pressed to your mouth because I talk a lot.This is me doing that in writing, I got tired of weird initials.
I laid out the strucutre in the first pony blog. We have 17 kids on M/W AM and 18 on T/Th AM.
One kid did not return the second week. Both Smurf and I had refused to allow her four year old manipulation schemes to work. "Tuck my towel around my feet, my hands are holding the top of the towel", stuff like that. After three requests---because other kids had also made such requests---we exchanged glances and I said-as the Designated Bad Cop- "You can do this yourself, dear. You do not need our help."
She did not return Monday. I cannot say why. But if I was to hazard a guess, it would be that she was not used to being told "no" and did not like it.
Smurf is a 20 year old former barista and current bakery employee doing what they all do in 2026; working more than one job to pay her half of the rent. She is a friend of the director's daughter. Many people are friends of the director's kids or the director. If you own a pony school and have a community, this is what it looks like. We have high school helpers from Arvada West constantly, many who are associated with either the family or the church or both.
I love these teenagers, they are crazy respectful, positive, thoughtful and it's good for my brain to be called "kryssi" by high schoolers. It takes a mintue to adjust, but I like it. Even when I'm being called out for putting a kid's helmet on backwards. The Older Bro was directly behind me, and his deep voice said "Uh, kryssi...this doesn't look right." I laughed and the kid made a face, because he knew it was backwards, but an adult put it on that way so he wasn't going to say anything. This week, the same kid told me his helmet was on backwards. I had put in on properly but did so from behind while he was seated on the bench, so he took the moment to mess with me. He's four. It was awesome.
Smurf has blue hair, patience, an open face and kind voice. She's the perfect Good Cop to my Bad Cop. I like working with her alot. We have a few siblings in our room, and one grandparent made sure to stop me at pickup and say "Tell the young lady with blue hair how much the kids love her. They talk about her all day after camp." I relayed the message and Smurf touched her heart and honestly teared up. She works with the general public at the bakery, I understand how much this moment meant to her. It was likely the kindest thing she'd heard in days.
This week, instead of calling them 'Bears', which they are (there are Mustangs, Rangers and A Third I've Forgotten)I started calling them "Bananas In Pajamas". Because it rhymes and I'm 60 and losing my mind, so things must rhyme.
See?
I mean it! Anybody want a peanut?
I made some notations:
*Three and four year olds are wearing sweatshirts from Martha's Vineyard, Hoodies from Disney and even Paris, ball caps from NASA and Hawaii. Crochet Headband was wearing her T Shirt from BUCEES.
* Older Bro was sitting in the office as the kids were getting picked up. He was humming the opening bass riff from "Smoke on the Water". He is maybe 21 years old at best. I stopped cold. "Dude, how do you even know that song?"
He smiled "How old do you think I am?"
"Not 60."
Apparently that was an hilarious response as the Office Folx and Bro's laughter followed me back into the classroom.
* The beginning of week two I was greeted by Improv telling me Mean Words had been fired. I didn't know her but by sight, and I have zero interest in any adult drama, thanks. But Improv is very much Drama Based, and this was (apparently) a doozie. My response was "Who is Mean Words?" I was pretty sure I knew, but I felt like passive aggressively sending an "I Don't Care" vibe so I didn't have to say it outloud. I honestly could care less, I stopped moving only because she was blocking my way, and I started pushing past her within seconds of her breathless news delivery. I have shaving cream, glue and food coloring I need to mix for craft, thanks for the news flash. As I walked to my room, Mines emerged from the other room she co taught with Mean Words, and I smiled at her and said "I heard you've been promoted" she shrugged and smiled "Ya, I guess so." That's all you need to do, no drama necessary.
* A mama bunny had her babies within 20 feet of the pony ring. It was discovered too late to move the den very far, so an experienced team led by Improv moved them another 10 feet, put a cardboard box with a door cut out over the den, and an orange traffic cone on top. This was on a Wednesday, so the true relocation didn't take place until Friday when there were not students. I don't know where the den moved, but mama bunny has been very busy digging holes around the tricycle track.
* A barn cat in training was added. Apparently there is a regular teacher who adopts and fosters cats. One had a litter a year or so ago, and she felt one of them would do well as a barn cat. So he's being trained. He has a cage in the barn to adapt him to the smells, they walk him around on a leash so he knows the area. I'm unsure if they've had a barn cat previously, but this was a new approach to me. On my grandparents' farm, barn cats were born in the barn. You know: Barn Cats.
* Smurf had a small group of bug minded girls who would stop at every spider on the playground, pointing out colors and number of legs. They found a grasshopper they named "Jewel" and I made them move him back to the grass before they inadvertently murdered him. A roly poly was also found, but he had long since stopped roly polying. Smurf looked at the kids and said "He's a goner", and the girl who had relocated Jewel asked if she could move him to the grass with Jewel. "He'll be happier there," she said. I agreed. Nobody should die on the playground and be left to the shuffle and stomp of preschool herds.
* The pony named Rocket was put into time out for two days. He bit Older Bro. It wasn't like he nibbled his hand while being fed, he walked over and chomped on his thigh. All the ponies were off the last week, Older Bro got stomped on a few times as well, and Taz dug in and refused to move more than once. While the Bears were riding, a breeze blew a plastic tub lid off of the tub and the three ponies on the ring all startled. Which is pretty terrifying if you are four and riding on the back of what is a horse to you. And we cancelled pony rides once for wind--they are truly skittish---and yesterday for mud puddles and rain.
* The kids discovered that Smurf will play tag with them. One boy caught her, and declared "I'm the fastest like a cheetah because I ate my rasperries this morning".
* One girl did not wear her swimsuit under her clothes for the last water day. Which is fine, I told her she could splash and go home wet. She went straight to the wading pool and took off her clothes. By the time I got to her, she was pulling off her unders. "My goodness, dear, let's put your clothes back on, ok? You can splash in your clothes." She redressed--pants inside out, shirt inside out and backwards---then ran banshee screaming with joy to the edge of the water tower with an empty bucket. I explained why her clothes were inside out and backwards when her grandma arrived to pick her up, because I don't want the police involved. Grandma brushed it of "Ya, she does that."
* The last water day on Wednesday was epic, behaviors and meltdowns everywhere. By week three they start to let you see who they really are. One kid was already on the struggle bus when the water tower ladder collapsed, and the dogpile of kids landed on her since she was on the bottom rung. So Much Screaming. Nothing broken except her spirit. Once she calmed down, she returned only to have a kid "touch" her on her leg, which resulted in another meldown. I called AL at that point and sent her to the office. This kid also did not wear her swimsuit under her clothes as directed, so additional time had to be carved out so she could change.
* A Kid was having a rough day with behaviors. It was the last Weds, so they weren't wearing name tags. I called her the wrong name all day--no wonder she didn't stop jumping on the pony umbrella stand. I even said "I've asked you wrong name repeatedly to stop." Older Bro had to correct me, because the child whose name I was using was standing next to me, looking up at me like "What?" That was not an "I'm 60" moment; I was fully 80 years old. Dear Lord.
* The name tag thing; yes, I'm 60. But I struggle with names for a cornucopia of reasons. Firstly, teaching for 23 years means several hundred students whose names and faces are ultimately archetypes. Nobody is truly unique, just own it. I know you if you spent two to four years in my department. I make up names all the time for high school kids becuase their name is the same as someone who looked nothing like them years ago, or yesterday, but they look like a different kid and I have to differentiate. It's fine, the kids kinda dig it. At Hinkley there were a small group who called me "Bob" for the same reason I renamed them.
These kids are three and four years old, the same height, hair color and frequently, same colored shirt. So yes. I struggle. If their personalities are not strongly differentiated, like a few who are relentlessly quiet, I cannot remember their names. I remember the name of the kid who is three and never stood in line. Whenever we went outside, he made a beeline for the playhouse. That's how I learned his name. Three others were there all four days, easy to remember. The one who clung to her dad every morning--her name was easy to learn. There were two little bittie blondes who wore princess dresses that I mixed up constantly. It's not the names themselves---they are truly unique. Parents are really digging into old names. It's attaching the name to the kid. The director wants constant name to face in the Brightwheel app, but I refuse to put more apps on my phone, so I made Smurf do it. Which is also why I struggled with names. It's not like when I was at Littleton and every blonde boy was Jake and I had three Brittneys.
I made noise about not returning in July. I want my summer, but I said I'd help. It's not like I work in a coal mine. It's preschool. And I'm a nice guy, and they clearly need my help.
I just won't do it next year.
I mean it.
Anobody want a peanut?
Scene.
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