In September, I scratched my cornea.
It took me a day or two to see the doctor, as I can be ornery about things like that, but it finally got to be too much and I went in. He gave me some antibacterial drops and put a contact lens on my eye as a 'bandage' to keep it from getting irritated. It was a pretty frustrating week, but at least my eye wasn't constantly weeping. I was so miserable I swore I would use eye drops daily, not rub my eyes and never do this again.
Last night, the same symptoms appeared and today I am typing with one eye, like Mike Wazowski, tears streaming down my face from my ONE EYE. I felt my eyes drying out while on our anniversary weekend and knew staying hydrated was key. So I chose to drink more alcohol. Because monkeys learn faster than I do. Last night my eye was very bothersome, and instead of using eye drops I grabbed a paper towel and rubbed it. Remembering my own stupidity caused the pain to escalate and I am now typing completely blind. Thank you Mrs. Horn, Dunstan Jr. High typing teacher who painted over the keys on the typewriters so we would look UP whilst typing, in preparation for a career of typing notes for our Taskmasters. Whenever I think of that class, I'm shocked at how very 1950's the whole experience was. Mathematically, it should have been about 1979.
So. I have the antibacterial eye drops from September still, but it's a holiday, so no luck getting in to get a nice contact bandage put on my eyeball. Just a day of complete misery ahead. I can't drive, I can't watch TV, I am literally typing with both eyes closed because the glow is too much. I'll go back to bed because this will prove to be too exhausting, and it's 6.51 am on Memorial day, why am I up, anyway?
Well, I had to get up to scratch through the vanity like a raccoon on the scent of a marshmallow to locate the antibacterial drops. At least I knew I had them and I wanted them and my drawer is not very well organized, to say the least. I was throwing stuff into the slink at 5 am making quite a racket that Jim pretended he didn't hear. Pro Tip: If you hear kryssi unloading a drawer at 5 am, Do Not Engage. It's unlikely you have any idea where whatever it is she is trying to locate can be found, anyway. She's the one who knows where everything is, not you. Just go back to sleep, you've done quite enough. Just accept that at some random point in the future, she will bring up the fact that nobody helps her do anything, and how come she is the only one who knows where things are, yet nobody will let her run their life you people are exhausting! That will End Scene, and she will take a moment to change costumes and verbs, all before you're even awake.
Scene.
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