Why I'm Like This: God Is Good

      I realize this is a little different, and possibly surprising.
      I have always had a bumpy relationship with God. I believe in God, and I believe that God believes in me. I also do not believe I have to go to church, because I am not a fan of most religions, and at a young age my family was silently frozen out of our church. That didn't seem very God like, and it was not. Because they were human beings, and human beings were given free will, which is a fatal flaw in our design.
       I pray daily, but in my older years I began to pull that human thing, I wasn't getting what I wanted, the answers to my prayers were "No", and I got grumpy. Distant. I dealt with demons "on my own" (I know, really?) and ventured into crystals and alternative medicine. I don't believe that last one had much to do with God, but I'll clarify: instead of praying for something I started doing something. I took on looking after my own health outside of western medicine and prayer.
       I would like to say I was both right and wrong.
       I need to take responsibility for my own health, and my grumpiness with western medicine doesn't mean I should have stopped praying. They go together, guys. Like God and science go together. But that's a deeper blog for another day.
       I let human bullshit infect my relationships with those in my life who are Godly people. I did not openly snark, and quietly I respected their relentless commitment.
       And then there are those who just....are too much human and church and not enough God. I can now differentiate.
       And I am here to openly celebrate that God is Good. My life has been impacted so many times by God, and because I have no interest in making Him sound like a magician, I don't wish to share examples. My examples will be explained by science by those who don't believe, and my exhalations will not change anyone's mind. Because I also have an issue with Bible thumpers who believe knocking on doors is going to work, and I figure you will allow or you won't, you have free will. I find it hard to believe that there are people in the US who have never heard of God. They have, they've made their choice, and you on their doorstep is not going to change that.
        Any more than this little blog will change your mind. I am simply saying that I cannot pretend that I have any control, in any capacity. I can free will myself into a frenzy, but if it's not in His plan, it's not happening.
       Nothing short of miracles have occurred. The one story I will share, is my mom's gall stone. It was so large it needed surgery. They put her in the hospital, and mom continued to pray. They kept her over night, and we all sat around waiting for the results. But they never brought her into surgery.
       Because it disappeared.
       Gone. Vanished. Vamoosed. Literally over night.
       Sure, you can use science to explain why that happened. I happen to believe that God is a scientist and he knows if he pulls a straight magic miracle, everyone would believe. He'd rather do it this way, and give us the choice.
       We can believe or not. We have free will.
       I believe.
       And of late, after a few years of Not Getting What I Want, but watching everything fall into place, and be What I Need, I am now the kid who just prays in gratitude.
       Scene.