This Is Why I'm Like This: "Living Your Best Life"

1 July 2018

 As I sit out here on the deck, watching the Dog That Is Actually A Bear lope around the yard--run like the wind, Bullseye! I say that every time he does laps, he's the size of a small horse--my allergies are on full attack, my joints killing me, my career over, blah blah blah, I ponder the current trendy phrase "live your best life."

  I have no idea what that means.

  I suspect it has to do with the glass being half full, looking on the bright side, the sun'll come out tomorrow---ugh. My coffee mug is currently half empty, with a fishy circle floating at the top. Because I need to take fish oil for my stupid joints, but I can't swallow the massive pills because I am 80. So I cut them open and pour the fish oil into my coffee, making it taste just a little "off,"but it's fine, I'm fine, stop looking at me.

  I'm out here with three dogs, none of which are mine. There is the weird, compact "Bat Dog" who is a Pug Mix with something long legged and unidentifiable by either the shelter or the vet,named Marty Feldman because when we adopted him, he had just been released from the clinic. Where he had been to have his eye placed back into its socket. Because he popped his eye out, somehow. He was Harper's 18th birthday present. She loves Pugs but they are expensive, and he looks pretty Pugg-y, so she scooped him up and that was that. He may or may not be blind in that eye, but I vote "Yes, he is" because he cannot walk in a straight line, he "serpentines," and I think it's because he can only see on one side. We know nothing of his history, only that he was transported from Kansas (apparently a lot of strays are moved to Colorado from other states). But his eating habit of taking a small bite and then running a few feet away to eat it, suggests he was on the street for a while.

  The midsized edition is an Australian shepherd mix, that we suspect is also part Corgi due to his hilariously short legs. They are short but so cute, they are brown with white splotches like a cow, but the fur is long like a Muppet. Cutest Paws Ever. He is named "Indie." Harper says his full name is "Indigo," but I say it's "We named the dog Indiana." We acquired him from  a young lady who stayed with us for a bit, as she was "homeless." (There's more to that story.) So she adopted a dog, as one does when one is homeless. She kept him in her room, did not feed him or brush him, and we just decided he was ours and she moved out. He is a long haired boy who looks decidedly like a girl, but his eyes are oddly human. He spent the first two months watching us closely, you could see the intelligence and wariness. His long fur and floppy ears make him look like he's wearing a fedora -hence "We named the dog Indiana." Zippy likes to chew on his ears, we're not sure if he's grooming him or if he thinks Indie is a chew toy. We dug a bit and found out he had been adopted twice before and returned--which is largely why we chose to keep him, no matter his behavior issues. Which amounted to peeing all over the house whenever he wanted. He seems to have gotten over that, for the most part. But what's impressive is his eyes have changed. He no longer watches and waits, he is present and relaxed and the only remnant of his past is that he will lay down next to his food bowl and scarf it all at once, growling at the other two dogs if they dare approach. He does have allergies, and needs brushing and half a Benadryl daily, making him the highest maintenance canine of the household.

  Our mini van contribution is Zeppelin, whom we call "Zippy." He is technically Genoa's dog, adopted in Durango, but she could not keep him in her dorm so...ta da. The best vet guesses have been  a mix of Tosu Inu, a type of Mastiff (size, white blaze on his chest, jowls), Lab (ears, tail, body and demeanor), Chow (black splotched tongue) and Pit Bull (head shape, eyes). He is devoted to Genoa. At a year and a half he weighs 100 pounds and thinks he's a lap dog. He was born on the same date that Sundown died, a year later. He has many Sundown characteristics, which are also lab characteristics. He's  social, loyal, stubborn and had a fifth claw, a "duclaw" that had to be surgically removed, in the same place that Sundown did. He also chews on his left leg even though there is no reason for it, as Sundown chewed on his wrecked leg. He knows the FJ, when it pulls up he is beside himself with glee, waiting for Genoa to enter the house. We can't let him out front if she's going to the store, because he will climb into the FJ and refuse to get out. We did take him to basic doggie training, and he learned enough to earn his diploma, sit, and behave reasonably on a walk. At first nobody could walk him, he'd just pull in every direction all the time. And he's so big, people are wary-as they should be, because he will jump on you and knock you right over. We've only taken him to the dog park a handful of times, and he has to stay on "the bad dog side" so he doesn't jump on good dog owners.

At the moment, Marty is dozing  in the sun looking regal, Indie is in the tall grass, in his favorite spot under the tree, where he can hide and watch. Zippy is next to me on the deck, contemplating the buzzing bees and---wait, there's a blue jay, he needs to go see if he can jump high enough to get the blue jay. Nope. Okay, back to his spot on the deck.

  The Gatos Diablos, all of them also rescues, are split inside/outside. It's nice and cool today, nobody is dying from the heat, huddled downstairs, where they've been most of the week. The birds are singing, the butterflies are playing, Marty's tags are jingling as he moves to a sunny spot on the deck. Zippy sees a squirrel now and is whining a bit....

   I think I can now define "living your best life." It's happening on my deck.