Legally Blonde Tips When You Don't Have A Fly System.

           I haven't written in a while, I've been trapped under a musical. It's not unlike being trapped under a refrigerator: It's heavy, I can't breathe and I can't get anyone to turn off the music. Maybe that last part only happens to me.
        Legally Blonde has dragged up every insecurity I have. This is my fifth musical, and in general directing musicals is not my forte. I was raised in a black box with Albee and matured in an experimental wearhouse. I don't sweat Brecht, or Beckett and my ghetto stage fits those shows nicely: There is no fly system, no grid over the house, the distance from the stage to the grid is 12', there are only two ways onto the stage from the shop and classroom that are larger than 8' high and both were built with a freaking ramp- we call it the speed bump -that knocks rolling platforms wonky.
     For you non theatre readers, the above translates as "a challenge".
     The previous musicals I have directed I have been able mold and shape around the "challenges". Legally Blonde has a beauty shop, two different department stores, a sorority house with a staircase(do THAT with no height on your stage), a trailer,a courtroom, a Harvard courtyard and a Harvard Classroom. Of course in the Broadway production they just flew everything in or it came up from the trap door. HA! We don't need no stinking trap door. I should have just done it all with blocks. As Eric likes to say "Two cubes and a scoop". Theatre kids know what I'm saying.
        Since I'm not a set designer, I  have hired a very talented LHS and CSU alumni to create the design--everything is on castors and it rolls and turns around. Most of the pieces are used several times and built with dual sides. Which is sooooo awesome, until you realize there is nowhere to store anything when it's NOT on stage, unless you can get it over the speed bump. Seriously, who designed this place?
      Today they finished all of the pieces and I sat on stage and went "Well crap, now where do they go?" We took down the upstage traveler so we could fly in the walls of the beauty shop. Took down the torms to fly in windows. Which works great, but now there are no curtains to mask anything. Not to mention Open Sight Lines.
      This would have worked if I could have just done it Brechtian. An Epic Legally Blonde, one ungelled scoop throwing side light and the sorority girls holding placards that say "Sorority House, OOOhhh" and "Harvard, AHHHHHH". Elle opens her mouth to sing in an expressionistic pose but nothing comes out.
      Theatre people are laughing right now.
       Anyway, insecurities. I started with insecurities.
       All of these things are not my problem. Kaylen (LHS/CSU alum designer) has thought them through. I can sit on the stage and mumble, but ultimately I'm not the one who is going to have to fix this. She's got it.
      On every show I have directed over the last five years---musicals and plays alike---I have had somebody let me down on the tech end. I've come to accept this as part of educational theatre, and
I can do costumes and lights all day, but sets make me crazy. And it's hard to find someone to take it on. I'm used to picking up slack, somehow, somewhere. From building saloon girl skirts to programming the light board to ripping apart gangster jackets so they fit small hipped, wide shouldered boys and, finally, turning the set design for Guys and Dolls into a light design because I CAN'T DO SET DESIGNS.  I'm used to filling in and picking up slack.
      That is not happening on Legally  Blonde. Kaylen's set design is not only practical, but my kids actually built it. On time. I haven't seen all the costumes yet, but what I've seen is well constructed and organized and coming in on time. Props-on time. Lights. On Time. Sound? Yop. Actually ahead of schedule. Choreography by LHS alum Eric Pung is creative and doable by kids who aren't really dancers. His assistant, LHS Sophomore Nick L, runs all choreography before rehearsal and has adjusted when we lost two cast members, cleaned it up by moving two kids out of a number and is...On Time.
     Suddenly I'm a neurotic mess! I can't focus on anything because I don't have to focus on everything. I'm not directing, there's nothing to direct on a musical! Jim Farrell has the vocal music taken care of and everything listed above is done. Character work is complete and the kids continue to make new choices (when I can get them to stop freaking out about choreography).
     I am insecure because everyone is actually doing their job, and I am beginning to suspect somehow I am not doing mine. I told Farrell on Friday that all I do is yell at people to shut up and fire them. I'm not a director, I'm a...producer! I DON'T WANNNNNA BE A PRODUCER!!!
     So. With so much time on my hands as I pretend to have my focus pulled from set to lights to costumes to choreography to the dogs ---OHYA, I have a kid who is the "Dog Whisperer" and he has two assistant "Dog Wranglers" to manage the dogs on the show---I'm really just Not Doing Anything.
Well, on the surface I'm Not Doing Anything. Under the surface my webby duck neurosis is in full paddle questioning my ability to do this at all. I'm not inspiring anyone to do anything if I'm telling them to shut up all the time, I'm not building better actors when I have to remove a kid from the show for being suspended.
     So. I Do Not Like This.
     I need anarchy. I need someone to bail. I need to sit in my chair and hand stitch fringe to the bottoom of a dress.
    Because the fringe is not so much the show as it is my own cray cray Monster sitting on my chest.
    Well.
     There it is.
     It's settled. On Monday I have to go in and destroy something so I can rebuild it.