26 May 2026
As I write on my school laptop and listen to binaural beats on You Tube, I continue to contemplate what it would take to live one day like it was 1984.
This summer. In 2026. At the age of 60. How hard would it be to function one day like 1984?
I woke up on Monday with TWO THOUSAND ZERO ZERO PARTY OVER OOPS OUT OF TIME in my head. Prince released the song in 1982, but nonetheless...when Megan was over on Sunday, she commented on our fake pay phone. It's a prop, it could be plugged into a landline if landlines still existed. She said they are now "universal" lines. I started to obsess over getting this one phone plugged into a landline, so that's probably when the idea was planted.
Because...how do I live like 1984 without a land line?
And is land line two words or one? Landline. Land line.
I do have a record player, but not a cassette player. Or even cassettes.
Can I talk to my children? They weren't "here" in 1984 but they existed somewhere in my body, right? I failed biology in high school.
Can I drive my 2021 Subaru? I don't have access to a car that is still running that would have been around in 1984. Does anyone? But I had a car, so can I drive a car? If I did not, I would have to ride the bus.
If I drive my Subaru, must I put a lawn chair in the back, as I had back in '84 awaiting the Nuclear Holocaust?
TV stations are mostly ...not good. I could find a platform to watch a TV show from 1984, but then I'd be using a platform, not ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS or Teletunes. Is MTV still on? Regardless, do I want to watch Whose The Boss? I don't remember watching it then.
On Monday--Memorial Day---I sat and read a book. But the book was written in 2018. So if this is a thing I have to figure out the parameters. But I limited my cell use and sat in a chair and read a book and brushed my dog. Made coffee. But dude...no coffee makers, right? I didn't drink coffee in 1984. Was it still a thing on a stove top?
https://www.nytimes.com/1984/12/19/garden/kitchen-equipment-coffee-grinder-brewer.html
Didn't use AI, used NYT archive. But still. They had bean grinders and electric coffee makers. Nobody in our house drank coffee, so I had no idea. Were there even coffee shops? Like neighborhood?
I have a watch, my dad's watch, and analog clocks in my house. But nothing dates back. So...just use the same technology that was available seems reasonable. Or watch the TV shows that were available. So Andy Griffith on a platform is fine?
I do have a SIMON! I love that thing. I know those were around. Yippeee.
But no cell phone, no laptop, no social media (clearly). I'll have to listen to the radio in my car for the news, or the record player for music. A Whole Day without Aaron Parnas. It's not like I can go get a morning paper...
So I can drive my car. I can read a book. It has to be a book written before 1984 or published in 1984. Fair; I have Stephen King. But they've all been reprinted.
We will allow platforms for TV shows but I have to watch one of the Big Three for the news or listen to NPR on my car radio. Wait. Yes. They existed. But I'd have to use a computer to pull an archival All Things Considered from 1984.
What else?
King Soopers, McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King all existed but no thank you, I will not be eating fast food that day. I'll go to the Soopers and get Kraft Mac N Cheese.
I'll have to handwrite in my journals, and that's all good. It's a little slow, my brain moves at the speed of my typing, not my wide loopy cursive.
Target existed, but not the Mills. Not that I'd go to Target, I'm just naming things at this point. I can play bubbles. Wax Trax. Fashionation. OH there was coffee, there was Muddy's. I was never cool enough to go. There is an Old Chicago where Marie Callendars used to be. I think there's something where Paris on the Platte used to be. There's a Rite Aid where JB&H was. Until there wasn't, and now it's a car wash. I thought the gas station was where JB&H was, but my brain is damaged.
I could keep going. The 7-11 or whatever it was is a Mexican Restaurant. I took out one of their gas pumps in 1982 with my grandpa's 1972 LeMans Pontiac. Her name was Gwenevere. The car, not the gas pump. I sped off before introductions could be made.
Can I Go To There if There no longer is What It Was? So I Go To There ,There Isn't Here But It's A Starbucks instead of McDonald's. And the McDonald's is where the Chinese buffet was.
So where are we with this?
Living a day like 1984 isn't that complicated as long as you let go of things like AM radio, a stereo system with a radio in your home ---oh OH we still had the massive piece of furniture in ours! The one with AM/FM dial radio, a turn table AND a TV with speakers on the sides. Furniture. Unmovable. Anyway. You can function as long as you leave your cell phone on for an emergency, since No Land Lines Anywhere Ever Again. I can use the microwave. I can make sun tea.
I can write with my toes. I can also eat, brush my teeth...I can tape all your buns together.
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