Here is how Jim and I spent weekends in quarantine. And a Few week nights.
At first, the game was simply to watch a movie with an actor from the previous movie-IE Dianne Wiest is in Birdcage, so we chose Parenthood next, because she's also in that movie. We figured we'd do it two or three times and that'd be it. How long could we be in quarantine?
The issue became how many choices an actor can afford, and the need to choose a film that can connect to another actor.
We also added the addendum that they must be films we own, but at one point discovered films we used to own have been loaned out, never to be seen again. So we did have to Netflix one or two. BUT it had to be a film, not a TV show and nothing on the internet. And something we owned at some point.
Also, Jim decided somewhere that he opens his phone and reads all the movie trivia as we go along, which is an additional quirk to the game.
Then we decided, quarantine was ending, we should end this and start a new thread watching everything we thought of watching but didn't because it wouldn't connect. So we had to find a path back to the original movie, Birdcage, but not repeat any movies and choose a different actor.
We chose Robin Williams.
We started the Bouncing Ball the weekend of 22 March, and today (20 June) we are on for watching the final movie of the game.
This is how we got there.The game invited a lot of spirited conversations,and Jim spent time at work trying to connect movies. We also deviated a time or two to honor an actor who passed, or to double down realizing we'd made a connection mistake, or just announcing "We're off the bouncing ball, we're watching this." But whatever we watched was always connected, somehow, and with Patrick Swayze it was just...hovering. He made a lot of cheesy movies, man.
What we discovered is that Jim has a lot of movies and I do not. And most of his have Tom Cruise or Bruce Willis in them. Mine have John Malkovich or Gary Oldman. His movies connect more easily, but the actors double up and we got confused when we would try to choose the next movie while drinking. Which is a necessary element to the game as well: you must drink. We played a drinking game during Princess Bride with Harper and her friend and it was the best time we've had in a while.
All in all, to sum it, we had a great deal of fun.
The Birdcage we started here. We took the less obvious choice of Dianne Wiest to continue. She is in Parenthood with Leaf (now Joaquin) Phoenix. Joaquin is in Signs with Abigail Breslin. She is in Little Miss Sunshine with Steve Carell. This caused a moment of consternation, as I wanted to watch The Office episodes, but Jim said "No TV shows". I also couldn't figure out what movie he'd been in that had anyone else in it besides "Sunshine", 40 Year Old Virgin wouldn't take us anywhere useful. So we watched Despicable Me and did the only conscious double down by then watching DM2 to get Benjamen Bratt in Despicable Me 2 . He's in Miss Congeniality with Michael Caine, who then got us to Second Hand Lions, with Haley Joel Osment. We could have returned to M. Night Shyamalan with The Sixth Sense but we'd recently watched it. So we pulled Forrest Gump, as HJO is Forrest's son. We have choices here too, but decided that if we chose Sally Field, we'd get to one of my all time fave comedies Soapdish. We'd recently watched Silverado after the death of Brian Dennehy and that's the natural Kevin Kline choice, so we veered to Whoopi Goldberg acquiescing that neither one of us wanted to watch Ghost, but it would get us to Patrick Swayze and more choices. One must keep one's eye on the bouncing ball. It needs to bounce. Besides, she's funny. If you just watch her play Oda Mae and ignore the constantly leaky eyed Demi Moore you can make it through. Patrick Swayze is of course in Roadhouse which features Sam Elliot, and is also like Rocky Horror Picture Show for us; we know all the trivia and the lines and yell back at the screen. A Boon Time At The Martin Movie House.
We took a detour from here by watching a Patrick Swayze biography, and then The Outsiders, (which just made Jim start up with Tom Cruise again) but I said NOPE we're still bouncing, we gotta watch Sam Elliot in Tombstone -again, we had some choices here as we are Bill Paxton fans--but instead we went with Val Kilmer so Jim could watch Top Gun. I was hell bent on not going down a Tom Cruise rabbit hole, so we were struggling with the next actor. I had identified the only black pilot in the Top Gun program as the same guy who says "The quarterback is toast" in Die Hard, and figured we'd have to go there next- until the very end of the movie, when I started screaming "Hey, HEY that's Tim Robbins! He's Merlin!" Which meant we could return to an older fave of ours The Hudsucker Proxy. Because no, I'm not watching any baseball movies with Kevin Costner.
Many of our movie choices in this game, we discovered, would peter out if we did not plan carefully. Older movies or arty movies tend to have no actor connections, you have to use a director or a playwright. So when we chose "Hudsucker" and Paul Newman, we knew we only had one place to go that would keep the ball bouncing:The Sting, featuring Robert Shaw as Donnagan, and that got us to Jaws, where he plays Captain Quint. Again, in the name of not dead ending, we went with Richard Dreyfus as our next choice, who is in Red with Bruce Willis ,who is in Fifth Element with GARY OLDMAN FINALLY! Took long enough. So Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead with Gary Oldman and Tim Roth, so Jim can get to Pulp Fiction which was, I think, his agenda all along.Tim Roth is Pumpkin, the diner robber at the beginning and end of the film and an identification that made Jim,once again, tell me how unnerving it is that I can identify actors so easily. (Identifying Clarence Gilyard, Jr. in Top Gun was also pretty impressive). I wanted to use Steve Buscemi as our spin off ("I'm Buddy, I'll be your waiter") that'd get me Fargo, and a step closer to Three Billboards...and Sam Rockwell, but...then it'd end there, because we don't own any Woody Harrelson films. So, here we are in a Bruce Willis movie- at this point I'm beginning to think we only have Bruce Willis movies-so we choose Samuel L. Jackson who is in Unbreakable. Which counts as a double up--but doesn't mean anything, there are no prizes for a "double up"--since they were both in both movies, and we realized that this happens a lot,and is a possible future game, where you have to choose movies that double the same actors or actor/director. Which would land you in a weekend of Tarantino. Anyway... Robin Wright Penn is Bruce's wife and also in Princess Bride. ( I know she's in Wonder Woman, and that would have gotten us to the new Star Trek movies,which Jim was ALSO angling for,but we don't own Wonder Woman.)We then chose Cary Elwes and Twister and this was about the time we started thinking we needed to wrap up. Quarantine was being lifted and we the weather beckoned us to linger on our deck until 9pm. We decided we had to get back to the movie Birdcage, but to Robin Williams this time. J. Without internet searching, I found a path that was bit lengthy, but doable. Jim found the shortest path, one day at work, thankfully, as I knew if we took too much longer I'd be watching Tom Cruise movies all summer. So we picked up Bill Paxton from Twister and went to Frailty, with Matthew McConaughey who is in Dallas Buyer's Club. Jennifer Garner is the connection in that movie to Pearl Harbor, which we avoided watching for a week. Because we didn't want to. About half way through (approximately 3 hours) Jim said "We saw her in it, can we turn it off now?" I said "NO,if I can't count TV shows, we have to watch the entire movie." I'm also wondering why the hell he owns this movie, he clearly doesn't like it. I started yelling about Josh Hartnett and the Alan Rickman movie Blow Dry, but we aren't connecting anything any more, we're wrapping up. But I'd much rather watch Josh Hartnett In Blow Dry. Just sayin'.
We got Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor and we have one more movie to finish the bouncing ball: Good Will Hunting.
With Robin Williams.
You're welcome.
Saturday, June 20, 2020
Friday, June 5, 2020
The Latest Desperate Attempt To Entertain While The World Argues
Today is Thursday. I have been in a Google Classroom classes for four days now.
On Sunday, before class started, I emailed the teacher four times. Why? Because I received a notice that Google Classroom had been set up, but when I clicked in, no assignments were posted.
Her email said "Assignment posted, please read by Monday."
I can't read it if it isn't there.
I clicked on again. And again.
I began to suspect I had been pranked. She sent me a dummy GC.
Then I began to talk to the screen, because that's what I do. When my light board went wonky, I began to bang on the keyboard and say "Fishy fishy fishy, wake up fishy". It's my go to.
I heard Alan Rickman in my head, and did my best foghorn voice impression of him "Reveal your assignments."
Nothing happened. Nobody came. Just like my entire life this spring, an existential nightmare. Sigh.
MONDAY
Monday morning I got up bright and early, mostly because I was unsure of the class' start time. There were a slew of assignments posted.
I stopped breathing.
When I came to, I realized there was a note that said "Here is the link to class, see you at 1:30"
I planning my entire day around the meeting time. I made a desk on my bed, made sure my "background" was interesting, put in earrings,and clicked on at 1.20.
There were four other people in the group, sitting around waiting.
At 1.35, when an instructor did not show up, someone with the instructor's cell number called and asked what was up.
The link was for the 2.30 section, which we are in. Not 1.30.
I looked back into the stream and yep, there is it: 2.30.
I was off to a great start
So I get on the video chat at the right time. Immediately I am sorry I signed up for this class. This is not going to teach me how to use the technology, it's going to make me use the technology to create community online, like I do in the classroom.
Well, this will be an exercise in futility.
I had to download "Nod" so I can non verbally give a thumbs up during class. I'm on video, I have thumbs that work, but whatever. They are culturally sensitive in color, I can change the skin tone. They don't have purple so I leave it. We must all demonstrate our use of the thumbs up. In the chat box I am relieved to see teachers who did not upload it, or just uploaded it and/or cannot make it work. Thank God. I am not alone.
They put us into chat rooms. My name was not listed, so I had to just click on a camera and hope. But the one I clicked on wasn't the link itself, I guess, it was just a picture of it. A dear teacher who was also left behind after the drop helped me find the right link. I love her, she is my new best friend.
So I drop into the room and they make me say words. I manage "Kristen Martin, theatre, HInkley" before then turning off my mike and almost bursting into tears. I am so far out of my comfort zone I can't even see it from here.
They want to know how spring online went for me?
I fumbled my mike back on and said "Horrible. This sucks. I have no idea how to do anything but google video chat, and that should be fine."
Turns out everyone in education knows how to teach theatre online so I then listened to a barrage of suggestions, none of which are valid in building actors, building ensemble, creating theatre or building a department, and all of which I thought of already but hey, they're nice people and they're trying. They may be able to tell I could cry at any moment.
I was nice and smiled and my dead shark eyes could not be seen through the video.
Then the class itself was over, and I sat and stared at the screen. I am clearly in over my head.
I got on the first assignment and tried to find the chapter. I am to download a copy of a note catcher that I then turn in with every chapter.
I can download. That's OK.
It's a PDF. Downloaded. Go.
I'm supposed to be able to write on it...um....click click...fishy fishy fishy...no go.
I download it again.
Nothing.
I email the teacher. I am to download it as a copy, then it can be edited.
Great. Can you tell me how to do that, please?
Yes, yes she can. She is patient and already knows me from Sunday's exchanges. She was not in my chat group, so she does not know that I'm going to cry. Everyone in that chat knows I'm going to cry.
There is a book we're supposed to be reading but nobody has a copy. So they are going to download the chapters. I am to read three of them and do things, then read two others and choose one of them to present on Friday.
I can't find the chapters at all. Any of them.
Email.
Find the chapter. I have to read it, write a thing in the thing and then turn it in. I barely got the thing to copy so I can write on it, how do I turn it in?
Email.
Sit and cry for five minutes, total. That's all I allow. Fuck this. I don't need the hours (I do) or the information (I do), drop the class. Harper says "drop the class".
I will not. Even if I don't get all the tech stuff in on time, I will not let this be what keeps me from being able to teach online. Or even make me cry.
TUESDAY
Class is synchronos and asynchronus, so no class Tuesday, just assignments and "office hours" on the link.
Trying to get on to read the chapter but there's no chapter, it's called Thinglink and it doesn't work. It shows the diagram and there is a yellow house and red arrows and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do...
Office hours! "Hi, it's me, the hell with this?"
"Share your screen with me, it's easier to do it that way."
Huh?
"Click the thing, then click the picture and there you are. Now go to classroom...click the thing, there you go..."
Explained. Got it. Wait, don't got it.
Office hours "It's me again, we're gonna be best friends."
"Maybe we should write more details in the stream to help, you won't be the only one confused, Kristen, I promise."
Happy to help.
And why are they so nice? Who are these people?
Next thing, ed puzzle? Won't load. Can't concentrate, then I have to answer questions about what I'm watching but I have no idea what I'm watching because I'm freaking out about not understanding how this works so I can get credit.
Cried.
Watch video, do the ed puzzle. Easy to turn in because it's right there on GC, so no weirdness. Or I'm just getting better at this nonsense.
How do I jumbo board, jamboard, jambalaya? Get a sticky note from where? Why won't it work? How come it's so small? How do I move it? Why does this matter?
WEDS
The fuck is flip grid? Why would I ever use this? Why would a kid video tape themselves doing a monologue when we could just do it in google chat during class time?
OK, tutorial. Done.
Now make a flip grid video for class expectations.
Email for clarification of what I am doing . Make 3 different things (flip grid, slides, mudmap, jambalaya) for three different online assignments you'll do in the fall.
Cried. I have no idea what I'm doing in the fall, let alone how any of it will work online. I should go back to the chat room so everyone can repeat the ideas I've already had.
Email. Can I just do three versions of my classroom expectations? Thank you. You're my favorite.
Decide to do flip grid, fuck this nonsense.
Two takes, done. I am in theatre, after all, cameras don't scare me.
Now "turn it in".
Crying ensues....where...what? I'm on a different site entirely how am I to turn in something I can't copy and paste? FIshy fishy fishy...
Email.
Hi, it's me, shocker. How do I do the thing?
They get in to help and email me back "You did it, it's there. Congrats! I'm so glad to see you pushing through all of this, you're a rock star, Kristen."
Whatever. You're a teacher, I see you. I know your support is not real.
And thank you.
THURSDAY
I panicked in May and signed up for every Professional Development section offered, since I have not a single clue how to do any of this. Also, I need 90 hours by next June for my license renewal. Last Friday I was suddenly unwaitlisted and am now in Google Slides today at noon at Google Forms tomorrow at 8 am. I also have to create whatever-the-hell-immma do for my presentation on Friday on my "choice chapter", which I had to read three times, because I was worried about the tech I need.
So I exchanged emails with my new best friends, the three teachers manning this course, and created a google slide show, thank god they allowed it. I had stopped breathing wondering how in the actual hell I was going to use any other technology with any depth of understanding. I learned enough to turn in the thing: scene. The google slide class helped me spruce up my sad text heavy slides, 'cause that's all I know how to do. So that was good. I didn't cry. You can add video to google slides...I don't know how, but I learned that it can be done, which is cool, I've got that going for me.
By 2 pm I had spent 6 hours on my laptop doing google crap.
I needed a cigarette. I've started smoking. I may have neglected to mention that. On Monday and Tuesday, after crying, I had a cigarette. Then another after going back in and wrestling The Next Google Thing, or reading the chapter yet another time, because I forget what I've read in the time it takes me to wrestle Whatever The Hell to turn it in and prove I read the chapter. I don't find this to be very "blended". I guess it is if you know the tech stuff, but it's more of a disruption than anything. Which I duly noted in my final reflection notecatcher and turned in with my slides because now I'm done with it.
Until tomorrow at 2.30 when I will be forced into another small group chat room that I will likely not be able to access, and share my google slides which I also suspect won't work. But I did learn how to share my screen in all this.
So in conclusion all in all to sum up, I did the things.I have no idea how many of these things I can use for actual class, but I am aware of their existence and can proudly say "I am not Google Classroom's bitch."
Go me.
On Sunday, before class started, I emailed the teacher four times. Why? Because I received a notice that Google Classroom had been set up, but when I clicked in, no assignments were posted.
Her email said "Assignment posted, please read by Monday."
I can't read it if it isn't there.
I clicked on again. And again.
I began to suspect I had been pranked. She sent me a dummy GC.
Then I began to talk to the screen, because that's what I do. When my light board went wonky, I began to bang on the keyboard and say "Fishy fishy fishy, wake up fishy". It's my go to.
I heard Alan Rickman in my head, and did my best foghorn voice impression of him "Reveal your assignments."
Nothing happened. Nobody came. Just like my entire life this spring, an existential nightmare. Sigh.
MONDAY
Monday morning I got up bright and early, mostly because I was unsure of the class' start time. There were a slew of assignments posted.
I stopped breathing.
When I came to, I realized there was a note that said "Here is the link to class, see you at 1:30"
I planning my entire day around the meeting time. I made a desk on my bed, made sure my "background" was interesting, put in earrings,and clicked on at 1.20.
There were four other people in the group, sitting around waiting.
At 1.35, when an instructor did not show up, someone with the instructor's cell number called and asked what was up.
The link was for the 2.30 section, which we are in. Not 1.30.
I looked back into the stream and yep, there is it: 2.30.
I was off to a great start
So I get on the video chat at the right time. Immediately I am sorry I signed up for this class. This is not going to teach me how to use the technology, it's going to make me use the technology to create community online, like I do in the classroom.
Well, this will be an exercise in futility.
I had to download "Nod" so I can non verbally give a thumbs up during class. I'm on video, I have thumbs that work, but whatever. They are culturally sensitive in color, I can change the skin tone. They don't have purple so I leave it. We must all demonstrate our use of the thumbs up. In the chat box I am relieved to see teachers who did not upload it, or just uploaded it and/or cannot make it work. Thank God. I am not alone.
They put us into chat rooms. My name was not listed, so I had to just click on a camera and hope. But the one I clicked on wasn't the link itself, I guess, it was just a picture of it. A dear teacher who was also left behind after the drop helped me find the right link. I love her, she is my new best friend.
So I drop into the room and they make me say words. I manage "Kristen Martin, theatre, HInkley" before then turning off my mike and almost bursting into tears. I am so far out of my comfort zone I can't even see it from here.
They want to know how spring online went for me?
I fumbled my mike back on and said "Horrible. This sucks. I have no idea how to do anything but google video chat, and that should be fine."
Turns out everyone in education knows how to teach theatre online so I then listened to a barrage of suggestions, none of which are valid in building actors, building ensemble, creating theatre or building a department, and all of which I thought of already but hey, they're nice people and they're trying. They may be able to tell I could cry at any moment.
I was nice and smiled and my dead shark eyes could not be seen through the video.
Then the class itself was over, and I sat and stared at the screen. I am clearly in over my head.
I got on the first assignment and tried to find the chapter. I am to download a copy of a note catcher that I then turn in with every chapter.
I can download. That's OK.
It's a PDF. Downloaded. Go.
I'm supposed to be able to write on it...um....click click...fishy fishy fishy...no go.
I download it again.
Nothing.
I email the teacher. I am to download it as a copy, then it can be edited.
Great. Can you tell me how to do that, please?
Yes, yes she can. She is patient and already knows me from Sunday's exchanges. She was not in my chat group, so she does not know that I'm going to cry. Everyone in that chat knows I'm going to cry.
There is a book we're supposed to be reading but nobody has a copy. So they are going to download the chapters. I am to read three of them and do things, then read two others and choose one of them to present on Friday.
I can't find the chapters at all. Any of them.
Email.
Find the chapter. I have to read it, write a thing in the thing and then turn it in. I barely got the thing to copy so I can write on it, how do I turn it in?
Email.
Sit and cry for five minutes, total. That's all I allow. Fuck this. I don't need the hours (I do) or the information (I do), drop the class. Harper says "drop the class".
I will not. Even if I don't get all the tech stuff in on time, I will not let this be what keeps me from being able to teach online. Or even make me cry.
TUESDAY
Class is synchronos and asynchronus, so no class Tuesday, just assignments and "office hours" on the link.
Trying to get on to read the chapter but there's no chapter, it's called Thinglink and it doesn't work. It shows the diagram and there is a yellow house and red arrows and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do...
Office hours! "Hi, it's me, the hell with this?"
"Share your screen with me, it's easier to do it that way."
Huh?
"Click the thing, then click the picture and there you are. Now go to classroom...click the thing, there you go..."
Explained. Got it. Wait, don't got it.
Office hours "It's me again, we're gonna be best friends."
"Maybe we should write more details in the stream to help, you won't be the only one confused, Kristen, I promise."
Happy to help.
And why are they so nice? Who are these people?
Next thing, ed puzzle? Won't load. Can't concentrate, then I have to answer questions about what I'm watching but I have no idea what I'm watching because I'm freaking out about not understanding how this works so I can get credit.
Cried.
Watch video, do the ed puzzle. Easy to turn in because it's right there on GC, so no weirdness. Or I'm just getting better at this nonsense.
How do I jumbo board, jamboard, jambalaya? Get a sticky note from where? Why won't it work? How come it's so small? How do I move it? Why does this matter?
WEDS
The fuck is flip grid? Why would I ever use this? Why would a kid video tape themselves doing a monologue when we could just do it in google chat during class time?
OK, tutorial. Done.
Now make a flip grid video for class expectations.
Email for clarification of what I am doing . Make 3 different things (flip grid, slides, mudmap, jambalaya) for three different online assignments you'll do in the fall.
Cried. I have no idea what I'm doing in the fall, let alone how any of it will work online. I should go back to the chat room so everyone can repeat the ideas I've already had.
Email. Can I just do three versions of my classroom expectations? Thank you. You're my favorite.
Decide to do flip grid, fuck this nonsense.
Two takes, done. I am in theatre, after all, cameras don't scare me.
Now "turn it in".
Crying ensues....where...what? I'm on a different site entirely how am I to turn in something I can't copy and paste? FIshy fishy fishy...
Email.
Hi, it's me, shocker. How do I do the thing?
They get in to help and email me back "You did it, it's there. Congrats! I'm so glad to see you pushing through all of this, you're a rock star, Kristen."
Whatever. You're a teacher, I see you. I know your support is not real.
And thank you.
THURSDAY
I panicked in May and signed up for every Professional Development section offered, since I have not a single clue how to do any of this. Also, I need 90 hours by next June for my license renewal. Last Friday I was suddenly unwaitlisted and am now in Google Slides today at noon at Google Forms tomorrow at 8 am. I also have to create whatever-the-hell-immma do for my presentation on Friday on my "choice chapter", which I had to read three times, because I was worried about the tech I need.
So I exchanged emails with my new best friends, the three teachers manning this course, and created a google slide show, thank god they allowed it. I had stopped breathing wondering how in the actual hell I was going to use any other technology with any depth of understanding. I learned enough to turn in the thing: scene. The google slide class helped me spruce up my sad text heavy slides, 'cause that's all I know how to do. So that was good. I didn't cry. You can add video to google slides...I don't know how, but I learned that it can be done, which is cool, I've got that going for me.
By 2 pm I had spent 6 hours on my laptop doing google crap.
I needed a cigarette. I've started smoking. I may have neglected to mention that. On Monday and Tuesday, after crying, I had a cigarette. Then another after going back in and wrestling The Next Google Thing, or reading the chapter yet another time, because I forget what I've read in the time it takes me to wrestle Whatever The Hell to turn it in and prove I read the chapter. I don't find this to be very "blended". I guess it is if you know the tech stuff, but it's more of a disruption than anything. Which I duly noted in my final reflection notecatcher and turned in with my slides because now I'm done with it.
Until tomorrow at 2.30 when I will be forced into another small group chat room that I will likely not be able to access, and share my google slides which I also suspect won't work. But I did learn how to share my screen in all this.
So in conclusion all in all to sum up, I did the things.I have no idea how many of these things I can use for actual class, but I am aware of their existence and can proudly say "I am not Google Classroom's bitch."
Go me.
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