I’m in a large room doing PAA. The kids arrive -30 of them -and
I realize it’s 7pm, time to go. I look
at Jenna for an explanation as to why they are so late and am I expected to do
anything with no time, and she smiles and shrugs. So I shorten what I need to
do, talk to the kids as I must and bolt, as I was supposed to be at my next
job-waiting tables-by 7 and I’m clearly not going to make it. (Waking kryssi
hates these time crunch anxiety dreams and usually I will wake myself up when I
see them coming, but I was out cold.)On my way out I say to a PAA coworker “Why
am I even trying, by the time I get home and dressed it’ll be past 8. No point
in even going. And it’s my first day, they may not even notice.” Still I bolt.
(A common theme in my time crunch dreams is multiple jobs, and I’m always running
late.)
I do not have a car- a running theme both in my dreams and
in life- so I run to the dock as my dream ritual is to catch rides on the back
of delivery trucks. A massive long caterpillaresque semi turns the tight corner
and the wind blows me over. The next truck pulls in and out before I can jump on
the back, I try to jump but it pulls out too fast. Then realize I have my own
car tonight. So I run to it and go to LHS. Not my wait job, not home, but LHS. Which
is not physically LHS, it’s massive
and the front looks a lot like my elementary school. I stop because I need
something there but in my waking life, as I retell this, I couldn’t tell you
what I thought I needed, I just drove to the school.
All doors are locked so I go in through the science rooms,
where all the science teachers are having a big party, they’re clearly drunk
and moving boxes everywhere and laughing. I just run through to the outside
front, where I see beer bottles strewn on the lawn. I call to the Sciences through the window “Ladies,
you need to make sure you clean this up” and they howl and cackle. I get the feeling
there is a bonfire in one of the science rooms.
Then I realize lang
arts is on the front lawn, down center, and Judy Vlasin and Diana Solis have
joined them. I’m too far away to call down, and I’m in a hurry, so I keep
running to the other side where the theatre is. As I go, Eric Pung leaps into
lang arts from the front parking lot screaming “JUDEEEEEEE!!!!! I’m so glad you
called me, I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t you”. I want to stop, these are my
favorite people, but I have to keep going. I am now in a full on crunch
panic. As I pushed into the theatre entrance, a dog brushes past me on my left and
runs in then disappears. It does not resemble any theatre I’ve been in in waking life, it’s
my dream life theatre, which is all red in the lobby and curves and has
multiple house entrances. I run back stage and the science teachers are there,
this time Monty and a social worker are with them, and they are pulling
furniture and boxes out of the props loft. I have to get OUT of the school at
this point as I am in a full panic, so I ask without stopping what is going on .
Monty replies---sheepishly and drunkenly---that admin told them they could
have whatever they wanted. His box has a crown in it, the social worker is
dragging a throne. In my dream brain I know
this has something to do with the budget and it makes sense to me, but angers
me and I yell “Are you kidding? You’re stealing our furniture and props, we’re
in the middle of a show!” but I’m running out to the back parking lot as I’m
yelling, and I start to cry. Moving forward is more important than standing
there and fighting. My car is not in the
back parking lot, though, it’s in the front lot, and I must run uphill to get
it. Crying and angry and realizing I have lost the waitress job, I run up the hill
but it’s a nightmare hill, so the top never gets any closer. Then my feet get
bogged down in the sidewalk and I can’t move, so I crawl. As I crawl the
cement rolls away from me, like loose
carpeting, and I begin to scream and cry “God, can you give me a break? Can I
just get a break, please? Help me!” and the crying becomes angry sobs as I
continue to unsuccessfully make any progress to get anywhere.
Somewhere in my head I realize it’s 8 o’clock, and I should
have stopped to talk to Judy. It wouldn’t have made any difference. I don’t
stop trying to crawl and I imagine I’m making some miniscule progress. If I can
get to the top, I think, I’m not getting in my car. I’m going to go talk with
Judy. If I can just get there…
I scream again and wake up.
No comments:
Post a Comment