Harold the White Caddy has moved on to the next phase off his existence. He was my dad's car, then Genoa's car, then Harper's car, then he was donated to Foothills Animal Shelter.
Jim and I felt a brief tug when Harold was towed away, but both girls shrugged "meh". He hasn't been Genoa's car for a year, and Harp has not had good luck with him. His transmission struggles and his power steering is poor, and he was expensive to fix and he was stolen and misused....
But first: When G picked up Harold at my dad's place, he was dent free. A Big, White Whale of a car with room for a pirate crew. She was so excited I thought she would burst. Harp took her place shotgun and off they went, my dad grinning from ear to ear. He loved being able to give the girls that car. Which is why it got hinkey when we needed to either take out a second on the house to keep Harold going or let go and let God. She chose "Pioneer" plates, since our family has been here for over 100 years, and within a week the dents began to emerge. Street signs, grocery cart corrals, cement parking blocks, all would leap out in front of or behind Harold, unannounced. It was never G's fault, always the inanimate object or Harold's massive size. If she could see it, she usually didn't hit it.
She and Harold were once sideswiped on I25 by a drunk driver in daylight. That was impressive, you had to be pretty drunk to not see Harold. He is approximately the size and shape of a tuna boat.
Closing matinee of Legally Blonde I had to send the Student Director to fetch Genoa, as Harold had made it one block before seizing his steering. Completely locked up, G was stuck a block from home (45 minutes from school). This is why actors have early calls and cell phones.
He has no A/C, and the heater only works with a special combination of flipping switches, adjusting temperatures and crossing your fingers. His electrical system was likely state of the art in 1995 when he was built, but the technology is now just annoying as it misfires. The trunk would randomly open, so G had to tie it down. You couldn't manually shut it, it was somehow associated with the electrics. Same with the Gas gauge which only gives you miles remaining in digital numerals, not a readable dial/gauge. And Genoa, suffering from dyslexia, frequently misread the E as a 3.
G was designated driver on a few Troubador gigs, and I know Farrell let out a breath when the 10 people in the caddy arrived. On the way to the Zoo gig they had to stop for anti freeze, as Harold's system couldn't register the presence of any fluid.
Harold was there when G needed to get to the emergency room and I was in rehearsal. She was the SM for the show, but I sent her to the ER and continued with rehearsal. Turns out she had MRSA, which is life threatening, and I have never heard the end of it. The story cemented Genoa as a Bad Ass in LHS Mane Stage Lore, however, so there's that.
When Harp inherited Harold last year, they already had a cantankerous relationship based on the fact that he is not a Lexus. Harp, God Bless her, has very expensive tastes. Where Genoa was just thrilled to have a car, Harp was less than thrilled to have a twice used car that had expensive and sometimes unidentifiable issues. She said frequently she was just going to hit it with a bat.
One time last fall, when Harold failed, my dad gave Harp his car to use---a Town Car very similar to Harold---while he took the Caddy. Harold had failed and made Harper late for school, so dad switched. On the way to school in her grandpa's town car, Harper turned onto Prince street and both tires on the driver's side blew up. Exploded. She pulled into the first parking lot and called me, hysterical, because A) she thought she broke grandpa's car B) she had no idea what to do and C) she needed a ride to the school. I left my class in the care of a teacher with an off period, as none of my seniors with cars had that period off, to go fetch her. My dad then retrieved the town car, fixed the tires ( she had run over something), and returned the town car.
About a week later, Harper was pulling out of the LHS parking lot in the town car when she heard a loud "clunk" from under the hood and the car stopped, literally feet from the LHS parking entrance. Since it was after rehearsal and I was still there, myself and two of the boys from the show looked at what appeared to be the front axl on the ground, directly under the hood, still attached. After rifling through my dad's glove box and trying to call his insurance company, I left a message on his cell phone telling him the car was being towed back into the LHS lot, he could retrieve it there (he still had the caddy in the shop). He did not return soon enough, so two days later it was labeled as abandoned and the police surrounded the car at one point. Harper and I just walked by like we had no idea what was going on.
Once Harold was returned from his latest trip to "a guy a know" (my dad's words), Harp loaned him to her friend D's father. The family doesn't have a car and they do their grocery shopping by bus, so Harp loaned them Harold on Saturday. They asked if they could keep it until Sunday for a few other errands. Then D's brother called and asked if he could use it Monday to go to ACC, he'd leave it in the LHS parking lot by 10.30. Harp said ok.
Monday at 10 am, the AP comes to my room and drags me to the office. "Do you know where the caddy is?"
"Yes, D has it. or her brother does. They were supposed to return it here by 10.30."
The AP shakes his head "no" and asks "Do you know where Harper is?"
"Yes, Swim class."
The AP shakes his head "no" and I am subjected to 15 minutes of pure adrenaline as the AP and RO pull photos of boys I've never seen, and tell me the Caddy, the boys and Harper are at a local park stoned and drunk. I don't believe it, she's in swim class, but they are authority figures. So for a moment, panic takes over and I stop breathing and freaking out. Thankfully logic pounded me back and I said "Prove it. Prove she's at the park."
They called the LPS officer on site and put him on speaker phone.
"I have three boys here with your Cadillac, they say they have permission to have it. There is an empty six pack of alcohol and drug paraphernalia in the car."
"And Harper is there?"
"No ma'am, just the boys."
He is on speaker phone and I am now back to full capacity, glaring at the AP. I have warned my students to never make me angry. I shoot fire. The AP got it full blast."You go to the pool, now, she's there." The resource officer just shook his head, I assume because he didn't actually ASK if Harper was there when the police reported the car. He just assumed. The AP returned from the pool and nodded his head to indicate she was located, as a second AP arrived, expecting me to be panicked because my daughter has been busted. They had alerted all admin. Without proof. She got fire as well, then I just shook my head and walked past the lot of them.
Turns out D's brother never had the car, but this kid is a friend of the brother and they'd been partying most of the night....
Turns out Harper was in swim class the whole time.
I never got an apology from anyone. Not the resource officer, not the AP. Nobody.
When Harp emerged from class, dripping wet, I intercepted her as the kid who had taken her car was now sitting in the office and I wanted to warn her. I told her what was going on and she, visibly shell shocked, volunteered to walk past the car thief to tell the AP that she had given permission to D's dad and brother. Then we went to the theatre and ate chocolate.
We went to retrieve him from the park. There was an empty 6 pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade, an overflowing ashtray and trash everywhere. I didn't want to be in him at all, we made Jim drive him home. He got out reeking of cigarette smoke.
That weekend we stripped Harold. We pulled the seats out, called Jim's brother who is a cop and asked where to look for any drugs, and pulled everything we found out and threw it away.When we opened the trunk, I found two bags of clothes. Not a body, not drugs. Clothes from the theatre lost and found. Clothes I had given to Genoa two years ago to drop at the ARC. Clothes that were now trash. Harp got a text from an unknown number saying "there's acid in the caddy". Cool.
That was when Harper was done with Harold. It wasn't his fault, but she never really wanted to drive him again. Jim and I completely understood, we didn't even want him parked outside the house.
That was also when I was done with admin. Never did I get any apology or indication that they had screwed up by wrongly accusing Harp, disrupting my class and causing me anxiety. If I wasn't an employee I'd probably make more noise. I hope other parents never have to go through that, it was completely unwarranted and avoidable.
We could not afford to get her a car, so she forced herself to use him to get to school when he would run. In May his steering froze up again, and we just called it. We entertained the idea of trading him in, but...well, it was entertaining because the thought made us laugh.
He sat in front of our house for two months as various acquaintances said they wanted him as a "project car", but none of them came to tow him away.
Harp got excited when a friend of hers wanted him, and he wanted her to run some tests to see if he was worth it. She changed the air filter, checked the oil and crawled under to check his vitals. She was so excited to diagnose him, it was a side of her I've never seen. And a funny final moment with a car she never wanted to take care of.
By borrowing money from my dad and Harp agreeing to make payments, we got her a 2005 Honda Accord. She named her "Mercy". Within two days of ownership Mercy had hail damage. A week later her A/C quit. A week after that, her windshield cracked in the Elitch's parking lot.
Of course it did.
And Harold was towed away by a nice man with a smile. I hope they can get a few hundred for him at auction.
Genoa, Harper, Papa Wyckoff and Harold the day she got him.
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