Things I Cannot Do Well

              I changed my blog look, and I think it's harder to read. So. Put that on the list. "Cannot change blog look." That is a sub-issue under "Cannot art".
              #17  I cannot teach Pre K.
              I never thought that I could, I wish to be clear. I never said "Lemme at those three and four year olds, Imma teach 'em!" I simply, foolishly said "I'll help where I'm needed."
              So I drew Pre K last week at camp.
              And that topic can now be added to the list of "Things kryssi Cannot Do: Plus Things She Should Not Do."
              I cannot teach Pre K, at least in the camp milieu because camp is "fun". And "fun" apparently translates not telling kids no, or stop, or no, or using my Ice Teacher voice. Apparently camp Pre K means speaking calmly and quietly, calling them "friends" and suggesting that maybe they need to go sit for a moment because they just clocked another kid in the nose, and allowing them to decide when they are ready to return.
              Fuck That Shit.
              (Also I like to cuss. You cannot cuss at a 3.5 year old. Well, you can, but then it's not "fun" anymore, now is it?)
              The answer is "No", no you may not hit, no you may not run around, no you may not scream. No You Will Not Ignore Instructions. NO, you do not decide when you are ready to rejoin the group, I decide that.
               The Hell, people? When did this happen?
               When did we decide that the kids are running the joint?
               So. "Cannot teach Pre K" is now on my list. God Bless Those Who Do, I'm out.

               Along those lines, I believe I am also incapable of teaching mime to kindergarteners, #16. In this case it is not discipline, it's simply translating the art form to something they understand and are capable of implementing. And the only way to do that that I found, after stumbling around for three days, is to have imaginary tea parties, which they already do at home, so I failed there as well. If I had another talent, like juggling, I could add it to keep their attention. But I don't. All I can do is lock myself in a glass box and "walk" past "trees". I asked other teachers, I dug up my training, I looked on the internet. None of it worked. The last day with them I spent 20 minutes just changing the location and weather patterns as they walked around.  So. Lesson learned.
               Good thing I am a high school teacher, huh?