48

 Tonight at 10.10 pm I will be 48 years old.

 Every year I receive a large amount of Facebook Happy Birthday posts, and every year I am surprised that anyone remembers my birthday.

 And then I remember that Facebook harasses you into remembering birthdays. You are reminded , weeks ahead of time and  reminded and reminded and reminded....
 
   So I don't believe it is that so many people remember my birthday as it is that so many people are reminded it's my birthday. I have two friends in Canada who are not on Facebook who remember every year. I find the fact that they remember my birthday without a daily Facebook prompt to be impressive.

 I, on the other hand, am terrible about remembering birthdays without Facebook. My dear Canadian friends remember my birthday without fail, and all I can manage is that theirs are both in January. Or maybe one in January and the other in February. I send a card or note Mid January that generally covers Birthday Month(s) Love kryssi The Douchebag. Because I truly cannot remember dates.

  I blame my dyslexia, because I am an American and surely this cannot be my fault. Numbers swim and dance and turn on their heads and switch places, it's virtually impossible for me to remember a date of any kind, except the year Shakespeare died because A) it's repetitive and B) it was my address on South Grant Street.

  My particular brand of rude is uniquely disrespectful, as I have spent many birthdays depressed and sad that nobody -except my family-remembered it was my birthday.

  Make no mistake, I set it up that way. I never actually told people when my birthday was. I thought that was pushy and needy. So I wouldn't give anyone my birthdate but I would then spin out in depression when nobody magically knew it was my birthday. See how I set that up? Genius!

 That brilliant ploy was destroyed when I signed up for a Facebook. I didn't realize that they would log my birthday into the Facebook Internet Place In Space and pull it up every year, popping in on my friends and reminding them that if they do not leave a salutation on my wall they are not good friends.

  Strangely, I am not opposed to this practice. In the last few years I have discovered that I enjoy having people post Happy Birthday on my wall, or hurling adjectives or even sending a message. It's positively...positive. I am unfamiliar with that notion. But I am slowly becoming accustomed to it .

 I also uncovered a deep seeded joy in being reminded of others' birthdays. I like typing "happy happy joy joy" on various walls, and remembering a moment or a phrase that the person and I shared. It's nice.

  And I hope that when they post a simple "Happy Birthday" on my wall, the same thing happens for them. They remember a moment, hear my voice in their head or smile at the remembered image of me flopping around on stage or waving my arms or falling on my ass in the mud. 'cause that's a thing that happened. The dog pulled too hard on his leash and it broke. It Was Not Amusing.

  I like to say I keep Facebook because it's the only way to retrieve show photos, or to keep in touch with people who are in other states--but NOT other countries because Brad and Dawn refuse to play. But I think I keep it so that once a year, 40 people or so fly by my wall and remember me, and say "hi".

    It really is all about me! Who knew?