Some Monologues

                       When I write in google and then copy and paste the margins

make me want to take a hostage. Sorry they're off.      

                            Jr ROTC

        There are a lot of things on my mind right now, sorry. Hold on. I need to sort through

them.

Why the hell—-no, that’s a bad start.

How am I supposed to focus on school—my mom lost her job and I have to move to

another school to live with my biological mom and it sucks.

That’s nice and short.

It’s not that I don’t love my biological mom, I do, but she lives too far to drive me here

for school, and here I have Jr ROTC. Also I call her BIO MOM like she's a science experiment,

and she says it's like a Pauly Shore movie. Whatever. She's funny. But, I’ve already won for my

sharp shooting and I’m only a freshman!

My mom lost her job because of DEI.

Not that mom, my biomom has her job. For now. She’s a nurse. No, my mom. Ok…let me explain. My biological mom gave birth to me; my mom that I live with

is my biological dad. 

She served in the military for 12 years and had four fingers blown off by a grenade in

Kandahar. So she’s disabled, and was working at the VA as a secretary. Nobody cared that she

was trans until 21 January 2025, and suddenly she started to get the cold shoulder. She was

misgendered by a coworker she thought was a friend. She filed a complaint and they put her

on leave.

    Then her coworkers suddenly started writing lies about her performance and how she was a

poor fit for the job. Her ACLU lawyer  stepped up and  wanted to fight, but mom didn’t have

the energy.

        Why would she go back to a toxic job that clearly hated her?

So. That’s how that happened.

Now I have to change schools, because my mom can’t find another job here and is

going to  go live with her brother in Washington state. He owns a cool pub and is going to

give her a job.  And I could go, I'm invited, clearly, I’m 14 dude I can’t live on my own,

and there’s a good Jr ROTC at the school in my Uncle’s district, but my friends are here.

Even if I change schools here, at least we’re in the same state.

    But I don’t know that I’d really see them until I can drive. Biomom works long hours and

overnight at the hospital. She can’t drive me to this school, or to my friends over here.

If I move with mom to Washington my Uncle says not only is there a good JrROTC at the

school, but he lives near a shooting range and we can go shoot together. That’d be cool I guess.

    I’ve never lived without both of my parents within a few miles of each other. We spend the

weekends together. It’s great,  my friends whose parents are divorced say their ‘rents fight when

they’re together, and try to get them on each other’s sides. Like dad hates mom and here’s why

she’s evil, and mom hates dad and here’s why he’s evil. I don’t have that. My moms get along,

and they love me. I think they still love each other too, to be honest. We just all click together

on the weekends, it’s really comforting.

         No matter what I choose, I’m losing my family and this sucks.

Although, I am trying to get my biomom to apply to hospitals in Washington. She’s wavering,

but she’s been at this hospital for 15 years. She likes it. I was born there. It’s a Whole Thing. 

I hear about it every birthday. I was early, biomom was at the hospital on shift, mom

was at work across the street at the VA. It took mom thirty minutes to get across the street because

of a car accident, she couldn’t drive across. She had to walk, but the crosswalk had firetrucks and an

ambulance, the accident was right in front of the hospital. They tell me the story every year, and they

laugh about the guy with his chihuahua who was also trying to cross the street, and mom followed in

his path because he just bullied his way right past all the emergency vehicles like he was more

important. 

I don’t want to leave my biomom.

I don’t want to stay and have my mom move.

I just want my family together.

                                            Letter to Trump and Musk

Dear Misters...Co Presidents...

I am a student in Aurora, Colorado. I am a senior with a 3.8 GPA. I have plans to attend

college next year. I have letters of recommendation from all of my teachers and counselors.

I would love to explore philosophy and archaeology and contribute to forwarding science

through the lens of my hero, Joseph Campbell.

And I am trans, sir.

I am afraid my future has been halted.

See, sir, I am 18 years old and halfway through my medical transformation from female

to male. But your policies have halted my medical progress.

In addition to being stuck in two sexes, my mental health medications have been stopped.

Apparently my diagnosed body dysmorphia is not important- or "real"- to you, and you’d rather my mental

health shatter and I have my future is taken from me, in addition to my body.

Or, perhaps, your plan is to ship me off to Guantanamo Bay or El Salvador, where you do

not have to look at me or know that you’ve destroyed a human being.

Sir, I am not the only one that you have done this to. We number in the thousands, and

we are, frankly, your most vulnerable Americans.

We are Americans, sir. We are not your enemy.

We have jobs. We are in college. We contribute positively to our country. We pay taxes. 

We are human, sir. And you are attacking us for no reason that we can discern outside of

hate.

I leave you with a quote from Shakespeare, who knew a thing or two about being human. 

I will copy and paste it here for you, in case you missed it while reading the Cliff Notes in your

private school. Oh I'm sorry, did that sound snarky? We read the whole play here in public school.

Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses,

affections passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons,

subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by

the same winter and summer as a Christian is?

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh?

If you poison us do we not die?

And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew,

what should his sufference be by Christian example? Why, revenge.

The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better

the instruction.

— The Merchant of Venice, Act III scene 1.

Sir, I don’t think you need me to point out that all you have to do is change “Jew” to

“Trans”. Or “Homosexual”. Or “woman”. Just change out the noun to create the hate.

I also do not need to point out that this was written in 1600. Hitler took power in

1933. You took office in 2025. 

Hate prevails through generations. It is taught, it is not our natural state. Fight or

flight only takes over when we are threatened, like the Neanderthals. Can  you tell me

what I have done that is a threat to you, so that I can understand?

All I ask is that you think about what the trans population have done to make

you so angry, and let me know. At least I will have a motive for this attack on me, and cause

for self defense.

Thank you

An American Student

                 –kwmartin 9 Feb 2025

                                                Right Wing, Behind the Torm

             Stop looking at me.

 I didn’t ask you to try and find me.

I like it here. This is my safe place. Right here on stage.

It’s where I hid during the shooting when I was a freshman. Me and the rest of the cast and my theatre teacher. We started rehearsing. It was the only way we knew how to cope.

I’ve known how to get into this theatre since then, before then even. I’m not telling you how, but trust me. My theatre teacher used to just give me the key, and I’d come in but I can get in without it. I mean…I’m not a straight hooligan…I’m not even straight…but…maybe I am a hooligan. 

Right wing, behind the middle torm on a step ladder is my safe place.

I never really thought of myself as being tough. I’ve always just thought of myself as being more ornery than anything. My theatre teacher told me once that I had a horn on the front of my head, like a triceratops. She said every time she said something I didn’t agree with that I would give her a look and turn my head like this (she demonstrates)and it looked like I was a triceratops getting ready to ram her. I think she said triceratops ‘cause that's nicer than rhino. 

Dude right wing is where I am on stage, there are stage directions. I am not “right wing”. Context clues dude. I just know you’re looking at my dark curly hair and wondering how I could possibly be right wing. Also I’m 17 and can’t vote, latina and scared, bisexual and terrified. In case labels are a thing you need like everyone else, I have more: Short. Theatre kid. Choir Kid. Bossy.

Never thought I would need to use my horn. We've had some problems since my theatre teacher left, but that is nothing compared to yesterday. I live two blocks from school, and the school handed out red cards with our rights on them, and everyone is acting like the school secretary can actually stop an ICE agent with her broken English–she’s like 5’2 and wears heels, I suppose she’ll step on their toes. 

Anyway, last week my step dad wasn’t going to work. He said it was because our dog had puppies, but he’s undocumented. He has his own business, he does landscaping, and in the winter he shovels his clients driveways. There hasn’t been a lot for him to do, but we heard ICE was rounding people up on the street, so he stayed home. 

Then this crazy thing happened. My mom was visiting a friend in one of the apartments that everyone knows is sketchy. ICE came to her friend’s door and her friend answered with her papers. She showed them to the agent—---mom was shocked, they are fully armed and wearing tactical gear, masks,like a movie—and the guy took her friend’s papers. Mom said that she held her friend’s hand while he looked at them. Her friend’s work permit is expired, and she’s too scared to leave the apartment to get it updated. The ICE guy handed the papers back to her and said “Thank you. Please get those updated” and left. Mom said her friend passed straight out into her arms. She came home and told my step dad, who decided to go to work today. Which was great. They seem focused on the apartments, and we live in a house.

And then, I was walking to school today, and I saw ICE on the apartment building roof behind my school. Snipers. They look like snipers. I just saw snipers, right behind my school. They could shoot me from where they are if they wanted.

So I ran in here, ditched my first period and hid.

Every day I come to school and it’s so hard to think about my schoolwork. I’m a senior I wanna graduate, but I can’t focus knowing that there are armed men in full protective gear standing outside of my building. How is that supposed to be good for me and my learning?These guys have guns- if they decide they’re coming into the building they’re coming into the building. School secretary or not.

 I’ve been through a school shooting guys. I was locked down in the theatre for a school shooting. I know what it’s like. It is not fair that this is something I have to go through twice. I am not even 18 years old yet and I live in America and I’ve never felt safe at school. I've never felt safe at school. How is that fair?

So I’m here in this wing, sharpening my horn so I can get through the day. I won’t use it unless I have to. And I Shouldn’t Have To I’m A Student.

I’m so scared.

6 Feb 2025 kwmartin

     

Golden Age Of America

 

                                         Welcome To The Golden Age Of America

        I've thought a whole very lot about this statement.

       It is a bold thesis statement.

       Usually such statements are followed by three points that directly support the statement, and explain two glaring questions: why now is not the golden age and describe when the golden age was.

        The real issues, the deeply serious issues in this country that impact its people are the disgusting greed that has driven up insurance costs and the cost of prescriptions which has created a health care crisis, the greedy increase in housing costs which has created a housing crisis and the fact that I still do not have a pony. 

        Three points. Easy.

        Instead, he rolled back equal rights which will impact all Americans except for CIS white males, and began mass deportations, which have frightened all the harvest workers into hiding. The result of this will be felt when our grocery prices increase. Cause and effect.  Consequences for your actions. He will call it an "unintended" consequence. 

        I'm a theatre kid, and I can see that without a degree in economics.

        Killing DEI will turn Americans against one another, allowing prejudice to call the shots in the hiring process. This will impact Americans who are already barely holding on to their homes, apartments and lives in their underpaid jobs, contributing to the homeless and housing crisis simultaneously.

        So, from my observation, white men have all of the jobs, but nothing gets harvested so we have to import food causing grocery prices to rise astronomically for people who also cannot afford their prescriptions and health care. The rest of Americans who are not CIS white males will be relegated to serf type jobs for pennies, causing them to live in communes to afford food and shelter.

        The Golden Age is rich white guys living it up while stomping on, using up, abusing and tossing aside every other American.

        This sounds very much like French before the revolution.

        Tell me I'm wrong.

DEI

 

        I just read a great article by a woman who wrote and tracked the government change in Turkey over ten years, and it weirdly brought me hope.

        She begins by asserting that the US will not collapse in four years. There are too many local government policies as well as ornery independent business owners for the collapse of democracy and rise of a dictatorship to happen that fast.

        However, her premise depends on Americans holding on, going deep into their communities and not giving up.

        This is where I became concerned.

        Already I've spoken to people who are exhausted by the waterfall of rescinded  rights and declarations of mass exporttions.

        As of today, 26 January, 538 arrests have been made nationwide.

        While this is double the usual number, it is not as alarming as the thousands promised on his first day in office.

        Already stories have surfaced of schools refusing entry to government officials. In this case in Chicago, it may have been a case of mistaken identity---the secret service claims it was them, not ICE at the building---but they were not allowed in and left.  ICE says it wasn't them, the Secret Service says it was Secret Service and the school mistook the ID's...when "Homeland Security" is on BOTH badges guys, the average American is not going to read the fine print.

        When ICE arrives in any school, they're going to have problems. First---go find a criminal, leave the kids alone. And Second---leave the kids alone. The suggestion is they would target an elementary because parents must arrive to get the kids home. Nice idea, but buses are a thing, and parents can easily have neighbors or other classmates' parents give their student a ride if they are not using the bus.

        DPS has  been vigilant in pushing out information in the "immigration tool kit" to all parents, students and teachers. The district's policies and student rights are clearly stated and communicated freely. Ours is one of two districts in Colorado stepping up in this way. Sadly, my old district (unnamed because you know) has chosen to remain silent and tell staff to "defer to admin". I'm saying, if ICE is in the office, admin is right there. However, based on my experience in A Building in That District, admin will either hide or happily comply by turning over kids. I wish I felt differently.

         Let's switch to rolling back DEI. As a female, I've likely been a DEI hire and I have something to say. DEI policies exist as legislation because people cannot behave in a fair and equitable manner. Businesses were not hiring outside of CIS white men, and were openly discriminatory. When it became clear that most of the population needed jobs, and could not find any due to this ridiculous Frat Boy Policy, equal rights had to be codified.

        Because white male humans are not, by nature, equitable.

        With the striking of DEI and Trump telling federal workers who are DEI hires to "find another job", we have a few problems.

        First, he's firing them because they were DEI hires. He did this after he essentially outlawed hiring these people by striking DEI policy. Where would he like them to find other jobs?

        Secondly, striking this policy has given bullies free reign to discriminate in any way they feel in their hiring and firing practices. This opens the door for more bullying when folks can't find jobs and lose their homes. These Neanderthals will celebrate the reigniting of the worst years in our country's existence and will happily don their pointy white hoods and begin again. 

        It will take no time--once they've ripped through immigrants, black folks, and LGBTQ ---to come after women. They think they "fixed it" by shifting abortion laws back to the states, but that only empowered the states on the right side of that choice to fight harder, while those on the wrong side weep and wonder why babies are being abandoned at an alarming rate in their cities. 

        Then it'll be our turn. They're poised to start with anyone declared "elderly", the swipe at that age group with cutting social security is the first strike. Then it'll be ageism, doing more than softly pushing us out of our jobs and becoming more deliberate, emboldened by their Felon Leader, and firing people without cause. 

        Then our daughters will struggle to get hired, since there is no DEI or any laws to see that they are treated equitably, they will be not be employable. And then, the Big Move, when all women are stripped of rights and the ability to work, we'll be told to go back to the kitchen and stay there, pregnant and silent.

        And that is where I've stopped breathing...and lost hope.

        The article swears he cannot do all of this in four years.

        But he's already campaigning for Dictator, so the four year limit brings little hope.

CityWide DPS Snap Shots

 

                                                            24 Jan 2025

          In this dark week, I am determined to do two things: walk more than usual (working toward 10k a day), and write a positive blog.

          So here we go.

          I have not walked 10k steps this week, made it to 8k Weds. So have failed at the 10k goal, but am "taking more steps a day than you normally do." My average is 5,538 a day.  I was averaging 3K in November, so go me. Failed but not failed.

          I took seven students to DPS CityWide, which is ...hold please, eavesdropping on Northfield Theatre. Who has a FT TD, FT teacher, PT teacher and student teacher but no theatre building, they work in a cafetorium...OK, so CityWide  is this cool thing DPS does because they support PA. And this year it's devised work, which is my jam, and performed like Too Much Light...which is also my jam.

          I have been at Kennedy for three weeks. In that time, I have "tattled" on their concept of "Peer to Peer" or "Unified" theatre and PE. It is not being executed correctly. So I told.

          I arrived at the DCPA with my seven students....hold on there friend, please note by previous paragraph. I've been in this building with students for only three weeks and I managed to get seven students to attend CityWide Theatre Fest at the DCTC. More on that later. The point of this first mention is that, in my tattling to the curriculum admin at DPS, I reconnected with  a guy who is a playwright and works for DCPA and did workshops for us at APS.  Turns out he knows how to create for Sped AND the curriculum admin has money to pay him to come work with me in my class. So he's coming next Friday!

         Go Tattle Tale!

         Also meeting all these cool DPS theatre teachers, admin who are stupid super supportive of theatre. Like...what? Really? What planet am I on?

        Super. Supportive.

        Northfield is doing Hadesdtown full on in their cafetorium that they share with DSST.

        Of course there's still no money for a TD in the building but...

        Listening to them share ideas about how to communicate in so many other  languages. "Cheat out" in Kurdish means "Cheater".  "Proscenium" means "sidewalk" in another language. Love this. 

        Photo of seven kids from Kennedy and a scary old gnome woman weirdly crouching behind them, why am I crouching?

    

Racism, Entitlement, Parenting or Fair and Equitable Consequences---Who's The Boss? OR This Is Why Education Is Failing Part 1

 

                                                  

    These informal stories, from four buildings in three districts and all in one state.  All "just the facts".     

                                                The Facts of Building "L"

          High School Boy A, last name of Spanish origin, sprayed baby oil in the hallways as a "Senior Prank". His consequences, handed down from the principal: he had to help the custodians clean up after school for two weeks. And-since the building had the district football field, building L hosted all three graduation ceremonies- he had to help set up and strike all three ceremonies. If he did not comply, he was told he would not be allowed to walk at graduation.

        The Same Week- High School Boy B, last name not of Spanish origin, and enrolled in IB, came to school drunk with a cadre of classmates. His consequences, negotiated after his dad visited the school: He had to promise to attend alcohol awareness classes. No ISS, no suspension and no hard labor. He was not only allowed to walk at graduation, but as class president he was allowed to speak at graduation. In addition, he was allowed in the building for his IB exams. His in school consequence was that he had to write an apology note to teachers. 

        He had no real consequences in the building. 

        He was not threatened with not walking at graduation if he didn't take out the trash or help with the heavy lifting and  sett up of risers and hauling large flower pots. He just wrote a vague, insincere letter stating he was "Sorry to disappoint my teachers". 

    Student A was working a job after school to help his family, from which he had to take time off to fulfill the consequences handed down to him. He did it because graduating from high school was important to his family, and his mother was ashamed that he had "messed up" by spraying baby oil in the hall. He worked his consequences off with determination and a sense that he "had it coming". He did not whine, or complain. He had the importance of education deeply instilled in him, and even though he knew his punishment  was inequitable, he did his time quietly. Teachers, seeing his dedication, wrote emails and scheduled meetings with  the principal and the district to address this inequity. They talked directly to the student about what was actually happening. They were impressed by his resolve and positive outlook. He didn't ask for anyone to do anything for him. Actions have consequences. His mom taught him that.

    Student B was already accepted to several colleges, had received scholarships and did not need to work. He appeared confident walking the building after the incident, and worked hard at increasing his charm to make up for the bad feelings that he had created. His apology letter was thrown out by several teachers. Rumor had it he was whining about having to take alcohol awareness classes, and how the teachers were all being "rude" to him. He felt the punishment was too harsh for the crime, as his friends were "more drunk that I was".  

      Student A made a typical dumb teenage mistake by squirting baby oil on slippery tiles, but he broke no laws.

        Student B  made a teenage mistake  and broke the law by being underage and drinking, and violated the contract in the student conduct handbook by stepping onto school property under the influence.

        These were not equitable consequences.

                                                            The Response

        To say the teachers were thrown into an angry assemblage of  humans is an understatement. Educators had worked tirelessly to create equity and inclusiveness in their classrooms, only to have the entitled principal eviscerate their work back to an inequitable baseline so "angry assemblage" is a wordy understatement. They were pissed.

        They contacted the district, the union, they even reached out to news agencies. Nobody. Cared.

         Nobody cared until a lone, frustrated teacher wrote a blog about it, and that teacher became a target for an entitled  principal who was incensed that a teacher would talk about what was going on in the building to people outside the building.

        This IS Not OK.

        And even six years ago, in a suburban school, it was  allowed to happen.

                                                                Scene

                                        In Another Building, Call It Building "A"

          The building was in Turn Around. This means the state has put them on Double Secret Probation for a variety of issues, including but not limited to ,low graduation numbers.

           The principal, who learned his skills from his previous principal, chose the following strategy: increase graduation numbers by falsifying the number of students completing credit recovery. Just pass them whether they passed or not.

            First, said principal must get all admin on board. What happened in that meeting is between administrators but the result was "all admin was on board".

            Many teachers openly opposed this fraudulent approach. In best "Mob" fashion, they were bullied into silence.

            When it became clear that he could bully the staff, all afraid of losing their jobs/homes/retirement, he took it a step further. The principal threatened teachers who would not change current grades, allowing students who had never been to class to pass the class and graduate.

            All teachers grieved in writing and in person, to the union and HR, to no avail. Finally, word came through the grapevine that someone on the outside had gotten wind and the principal was about to "go down" for his corrupt behavior. He quit just months ahead of the investigation. 

                                                                The Impact

           That principal of building A left town, and became a principal in Texas. His mentor, the principal who had taught him to cheat, became superintendent of a large school district in the same state. This is the general district approach to these administrative indiscretions: move the perpetrator up to a district job and pay them more. The bullying AP  also stayed in education, and less than ten years later emerged as the Principial of Building L. He changed districts and left building A off of his resume. 

                                                            Parents (Buckle Up)

        It has become almost a sport to bash education. For a minute during Covid teachers were hailed as infallible, and universally accepted as underpaid "heroes". By September of 2021, when the Tik Tok challenge hit our buildings and students ripped apart bathrooms---we were vilified as inept at  managing classroom behavior. 

        I'm going to publicly say that if your kid comes to school and rips the sink out of the restroom, that is a parenting  problem that has become an education problem. That is not an education problem See the difference?

        Students do not study at home, even when given a free Chromebook.

        Students arrive at school hungry and dysregulated, so teachers provide free breakfast,  free lunch, social workers, kind teachers and counselors. All who do this do so without thanks, without recognition and many times, with their own money (snacks and additional food that we keep for kids in their classrooms).

                                                                Building A

 Students fail classes because they do not have instilled in them at home the value of education. So building resources are wasted chasing them around the building as they try to hide in various locations, vape in the bathrooms, sneak into the theatre, break into the art studios. Teachers are the assholes for telling them to get to class. "You don't gotta be mean about it," is the common response to "Go to class". A second favorite response is "That's racist". This sounds very much like respect has not been taught at home. Neither has listening to teachers, respecting adults or taking responsibility for their own actions. If they would just go to class and respectfully receive what there is to learn, they could learn the correct definition of "racism".

                                                                Building L  

Students have been taught at home that their privilege precludes the judgment of a teacher's grade. If they do not like their grade, they invoke the wrath of their parent. Teachers who do not acquiesce will be pressured by admin or sports coaches, whichever the parent contacted.  Teachers develop PTSD and commonly flinch when forced to deal with this issue, which should NOT be an issue. The grade is the grade, you earned the grade. Scene. That's just core classes, I have too much PTSD to approach Performing Arts. This behavior was taught at home. 

                                                        A Middle School Interlude

                                        Building N, in the same district as Building A.

            Five teachers quit between August and December in building N in the fall of 2024.

            Students argue with teachers and support staff when it's time to go to class. They will openly run away and hide to avoid going to class. They expect the teacher to alter the content when they get "bored", and protest when given a "0" for an assignment they did not turn in. When emotions are too much for them to handle, they will flip a table in the classroom and stand, defiant against any adult who suggests that their behavior is inappropriate. 

            Students openly and alternately scream or ignore teachers and support staff when confronted with their behaviors. It's pretty impressive to watch a seventh grader stare directly at an adult and refuse to speak, or move, or blink, or in any way acknowledge that someone is speaking to them. This happens regularly when students are asked to surrender their phones, which they know are not allowed in class and they have been asked to put the phone in the phone cubby at the front of the classroom every class period since school began in August. It is not October and they are still trying to hide or sneak in the phone, and then play statue because they know teachers cannot reach out and take the phone from them. It's like begging the chihuahua to spit out the stuffed animal that they've liberated and will not return to their human.

            A student stole the building keys from a teacher. This student was known to admin and has never really attended any classes, and even though CPS are involved, nothing has moved forward yet. So the building is in a holding pattern waiting for someone to take responsibility for this feral child. When the student was caught on camera with the keys and admin called home, the parent said it was impossible, admin was lying. Admin had to call the local police, show them the video, and have them conference call the parent, who remained defiant until the police said "Bring back the keys or we press charges."

            This is not an "education is failing" problem. Teaching content under these conditions is impossible and the kids aren't being held accountable at home or school due to parent interference. So. Come walk in our shoes and language arts to a feral wolverine, and then tell us it's our fault the wolverine can't stop screaming and biting long enough to learn how to spell.

                                                                     End Part 1

      

  

  

Teaching Salaries

     

            Nobody is required to read anything that I write. That's the beauty of freedom.

           I have recently changed districts for my mental health. I overstayed in my previous district due to monetary issues-primarily that I was being paid very well. I know, but for teaching trust me: it was good money. Good money, my bills were paid and I was angry, anxiety ridden, frustrated and moments away from a medical event. 

           Last year I realized I had traded my sense of self, my mental stability and my integrity for the all mighty dollar, and decided to exit. Some how. Some way.  I formulated a plan, but first, a lesson for the non teachers reading this. This is how you start planning to exit teaching.

           Retirement from teaching is not a lesson you are taught when you become a teacher. Both lessons that I am recording here, I wish I had known before I ever embarked on this career.

           Upon retirement after 21 years, you are only eligible for 51% of your salary. At 35 years, you can only receive 87.5% of your salary. You cannot receive 100% of your salary after any number of years.

          Your salary years in PERA are your actual years teaching, but your pay is attached to your district. Now if you spend 35 years in one building, then you will be at far right end of the grid at top salary and you will retire at 87.5% of that salary. But, if you left your district at year 18, you did not receive a salary that is 18 years in your new district. Depending on the new district, you will receive anywhere from eight to eleven of your 18 hard earned years. Are you still with me?  THUS and such, if you spend three years in your new district and decide to  retire at year 21 and 51% of your salary, you are NOT retiring at year 21 on the Pera pay  scale, which does not exist. You are retiring at year 13 on the salary pay scale. 

        If you change districts after year ten of teaching, you will not retire with the benefits owed for your full number of years that you taught. How is this fair? It is not. They are "golden handcuffs", forcing teachers to remain in a district for their entire career. Here is another grievance for another day, but education has changed dramatically, and due to the turnover of principals it is difficult for teachers to remain in one building for 30 years.

        So, the numbers I am using to demonstrate are NOT real numbers, but the gaps are similar. Let's say you switched districts and are in YEAR 21 across two districts according to PERA. But your new district only gave you eight years when you changed over at year 18. So on the district pay scale---which is your salary and what you will retire at 51% of---you make $70,000 a year. For comparison, your salary in this district for your actual years of 21 would be $80,000 a year, which you do not make, because the district ignored the first 16 years of your career. But you make $10k less because Colorado districts do not honor your full 21 years.

        By comparison, if you are in a district that is "higher paid" even with the cut in years and district change, the same thing will happen: they will only give you X number of years. Adding insult to injury, they are a lower paid district. Again, NOT REAL NUMBERS but as example:  you're making $70K at District A where you worked for 18 years. You switch to District J who is notoriously the lowest paid district, and they agree to give you eight (you heard me) of your 18 years. This puts you at year eight and $55K a year on the salary schedule. You have just taken a $15K a year pay cut. As a 21 year public school veteran. Don't you feel respected, valued and empowered?

        The numbers aren't real, but the gaps are my friends. Sometimes worse, depending on the district. 

        Anyone else in a career that deliberately punishes you when you want to change locations? Not even JOBS, just LOCATION. This career also offers double indemnity as you are UNhireable after age 50, AND there is a district here that will non renew teachers after their third year to avoid them receiving teacher status. Which means these people can't get hired again in the same district. This appears to be to avoid paying teachers. If they stay, you have to increase their salaries, but if you keep non renewing them, you'll have a constant staff of people who are making the bare minimum of first year teachers. 

        In my personal experience in three districts, this above strategy also ensures that your teachers are younger than your admin---which has become a frightening trend. Principals are young and threatened by veteran teachers-largely because their "Grand New Plan" was already tried and failed and they don't want to hear about it from someone who is going to A) warn them it will not work and B) sigh heavily when it fails. But that's a different grievance. Today is simply a salary lesson.

        I worked with people who were miserable, but sticking it out so they could get the most money possible in retirement. They'd still have to work somewhere after they retire. We retire from teaching, not from work.

        But again, that's another grievance.

        Thank you for attending today's civics lesson. I appreciate you.

              

Three Buildings in Two Months...

 

        When I was in my 20's I would hop jobs every six months.

       With the exception of B. Dalton Bookseller, but even that was broken up. Southwest Plaza for about two years, then Green Mtn for a year before I moved to Houston. Then Seabrook for a year, quit to go to Hastings Records, then bounced back over...that sort of thing.

        Teaching at Littleton High School for 17 years was my longest stretch at one gig. When that ended and I hopped to Hinkley I figured I'd die there. Double entendre and subtext intended for those who know.

        This summer, after four years (my time at Hink) of talking about leaving education, I finally said "This is gonna be my last year" outloud to Jim. I had been busted down to 1/2 theatre and 1/2 lang arts regardless of the cornucopia of support and blood, sweat and tears I had put in to get the department back up to speed. This was irrelevant to admin, as my classes weren't "big" enough to justify.  Largely because my lists of students requesting my classes were under 20 and mysteriously disappeared, which meant they didn't exist and nobody wanted theatre. Theatre is very specific and when it is used as a dumping ground, problems ensue. Like students dumped in the class are eventually asked to perform, and they bail. I'm not choir,  you can't hide in a section. I'm not band, you cannot hide behind an instrument, or put on headphones to learn piano "alone" but in a class. At some point, in some capacity, you are going to have to participate with other humans in theatre.

        I can't fight any more. So I said "This is it."

        Now, I could have let my co teacher continue to do all the heavy lifting in lang arts, continued to allow nothing but original scenes in Spanish  in intro and pulled APA through more intensive script analysis and schools of thought. But no, I believed a colleague in another building when he reached out and said the middle school wanted theatre.

        OK, full time theatre.

        In a middle school.

        In Aurora.

        So I skipped. 

        To be clear "Full Time Theatre" in the same district meant No Pay Cut. Sounded like a good idea.

         Skipping forward, three weeks later I was sitting in my new theatre at Kennedy High School in DPS.

        New district. Full time theatre. Dark for three years. A rebuild.

        Massive Pay cut.

        23 Minutes from home.

        My first day, some kids snuck into the theatre to ditch. I asked them to leave.

        They left.

        Nobody called me a bitch. Nobody told me to fuck off.

        My first day at Hinkley I was told to fuck off twice in twenty minutes by students who were asked to please sit down.

        At North, I was ignored completely and tables were flipped over.

        I'll keep y'all posted, but so far...