Some Monologues

                       When I write in google and then copy and paste the margins

make me want to take a hostage. Sorry they're off.      

                            Jr ROTC

        There are a lot of things on my mind right now, sorry. Hold on. I need to sort through

them.

Why the hell—-no, that’s a bad start.

How am I supposed to focus on school—my mom lost her job and I have to move to

another school to live with my biological mom and it sucks.

That’s nice and short.

It’s not that I don’t love my biological mom, I do, but she lives too far to drive me here

for school, and here I have Jr ROTC. Also I call her BIO MOM like she's a science experiment,

and she says it's like a Pauly Shore movie. Whatever. She's funny. But, I’ve already won for my

sharp shooting and I’m only a freshman!

My mom lost her job because of DEI.

Not that mom, my biomom has her job. For now. She’s a nurse. No, my mom. Ok…let me explain. My biological mom gave birth to me; my mom that I live with

is my biological dad. 

She served in the military for 12 years and had four fingers blown off by a grenade in

Kandahar. So she’s disabled, and was working at the VA as a secretary. Nobody cared that she

was trans until 21 January 2025, and suddenly she started to get the cold shoulder. She was

misgendered by a coworker she thought was a friend. She filed a complaint and they put her

on leave.

    Then her coworkers suddenly started writing lies about her performance and how she was a

poor fit for the job. Her ACLU lawyer  stepped up and  wanted to fight, but mom didn’t have

the energy.

        Why would she go back to a toxic job that clearly hated her?

So. That’s how that happened.

Now I have to change schools, because my mom can’t find another job here and is

going to  go live with her brother in Washington state. He owns a cool pub and is going to

give her a job.  And I could go, I'm invited, clearly, I’m 14 dude I can’t live on my own,

and there’s a good Jr ROTC at the school in my Uncle’s district, but my friends are here.

Even if I change schools here, at least we’re in the same state.

    But I don’t know that I’d really see them until I can drive. Biomom works long hours and

overnight at the hospital. She can’t drive me to this school, or to my friends over here.

If I move with mom to Washington my Uncle says not only is there a good JrROTC at the

school, but he lives near a shooting range and we can go shoot together. That’d be cool I guess.

    I’ve never lived without both of my parents within a few miles of each other. We spend the

weekends together. It’s great,  my friends whose parents are divorced say their ‘rents fight when

they’re together, and try to get them on each other’s sides. Like dad hates mom and here’s why

she’s evil, and mom hates dad and here’s why he’s evil. I don’t have that. My moms get along,

and they love me. I think they still love each other too, to be honest. We just all click together

on the weekends, it’s really comforting.

         No matter what I choose, I’m losing my family and this sucks.

Although, I am trying to get my biomom to apply to hospitals in Washington. She’s wavering,

but she’s been at this hospital for 15 years. She likes it. I was born there. It’s a Whole Thing. 

I hear about it every birthday. I was early, biomom was at the hospital on shift, mom

was at work across the street at the VA. It took mom thirty minutes to get across the street because

of a car accident, she couldn’t drive across. She had to walk, but the crosswalk had firetrucks and an

ambulance, the accident was right in front of the hospital. They tell me the story every year, and they

laugh about the guy with his chihuahua who was also trying to cross the street, and mom followed in

his path because he just bullied his way right past all the emergency vehicles like he was more

important. 

I don’t want to leave my biomom.

I don’t want to stay and have my mom move.

I just want my family together.

                                            Letter to Trump and Musk

Dear Misters...Co Presidents...

I am a student in Aurora, Colorado. I am a senior with a 3.8 GPA. I have plans to attend

college next year. I have letters of recommendation from all of my teachers and counselors.

I would love to explore philosophy and archaeology and contribute to forwarding science

through the lens of my hero, Joseph Campbell.

And I am trans, sir.

I am afraid my future has been halted.

See, sir, I am 18 years old and halfway through my medical transformation from female

to male. But your policies have halted my medical progress.

In addition to being stuck in two sexes, my mental health medications have been stopped.

Apparently my diagnosed body dysmorphia is not important- or "real"- to you, and you’d rather my mental

health shatter and I have my future is taken from me, in addition to my body.

Or, perhaps, your plan is to ship me off to Guantanamo Bay or El Salvador, where you do

not have to look at me or know that you’ve destroyed a human being.

Sir, I am not the only one that you have done this to. We number in the thousands, and

we are, frankly, your most vulnerable Americans.

We are Americans, sir. We are not your enemy.

We have jobs. We are in college. We contribute positively to our country. We pay taxes. 

We are human, sir. And you are attacking us for no reason that we can discern outside of

hate.

I leave you with a quote from Shakespeare, who knew a thing or two about being human. 

I will copy and paste it here for you, in case you missed it while reading the Cliff Notes in your

private school. Oh I'm sorry, did that sound snarky? We read the whole play here in public school.

Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses,

affections passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons,

subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by

the same winter and summer as a Christian is?

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh?

If you poison us do we not die?

And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew,

what should his sufference be by Christian example? Why, revenge.

The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better

the instruction.

— The Merchant of Venice, Act III scene 1.

Sir, I don’t think you need me to point out that all you have to do is change “Jew” to

“Trans”. Or “Homosexual”. Or “woman”. Just change out the noun to create the hate.

I also do not need to point out that this was written in 1600. Hitler took power in

1933. You took office in 2025. 

Hate prevails through generations. It is taught, it is not our natural state. Fight or

flight only takes over when we are threatened, like the Neanderthals. Can  you tell me

what I have done that is a threat to you, so that I can understand?

All I ask is that you think about what the trans population have done to make

you so angry, and let me know. At least I will have a motive for this attack on me, and cause

for self defense.

Thank you

An American Student

                 –kwmartin 9 Feb 2025

                                                Right Wing, Behind the Torm

             Stop looking at me.

 I didn’t ask you to try and find me.

I like it here. This is my safe place. Right here on stage.

It’s where I hid during the shooting when I was a freshman. Me and the rest of the cast and my theatre teacher. We started rehearsing. It was the only way we knew how to cope.

I’ve known how to get into this theatre since then, before then even. I’m not telling you how, but trust me. My theatre teacher used to just give me the key, and I’d come in but I can get in without it. I mean…I’m not a straight hooligan…I’m not even straight…but…maybe I am a hooligan. 

Right wing, behind the middle torm on a step ladder is my safe place.

I never really thought of myself as being tough. I’ve always just thought of myself as being more ornery than anything. My theatre teacher told me once that I had a horn on the front of my head, like a triceratops. She said every time she said something I didn’t agree with that I would give her a look and turn my head like this (she demonstrates)and it looked like I was a triceratops getting ready to ram her. I think she said triceratops ‘cause that's nicer than rhino. 

Dude right wing is where I am on stage, there are stage directions. I am not “right wing”. Context clues dude. I just know you’re looking at my dark curly hair and wondering how I could possibly be right wing. Also I’m 17 and can’t vote, latina and scared, bisexual and terrified. In case labels are a thing you need like everyone else, I have more: Short. Theatre kid. Choir Kid. Bossy.

Never thought I would need to use my horn. We've had some problems since my theatre teacher left, but that is nothing compared to yesterday. I live two blocks from school, and the school handed out red cards with our rights on them, and everyone is acting like the school secretary can actually stop an ICE agent with her broken English–she’s like 5’2 and wears heels, I suppose she’ll step on their toes. 

Anyway, last week my step dad wasn’t going to work. He said it was because our dog had puppies, but he’s undocumented. He has his own business, he does landscaping, and in the winter he shovels his clients driveways. There hasn’t been a lot for him to do, but we heard ICE was rounding people up on the street, so he stayed home. 

Then this crazy thing happened. My mom was visiting a friend in one of the apartments that everyone knows is sketchy. ICE came to her friend’s door and her friend answered with her papers. She showed them to the agent—---mom was shocked, they are fully armed and wearing tactical gear, masks,like a movie—and the guy took her friend’s papers. Mom said that she held her friend’s hand while he looked at them. Her friend’s work permit is expired, and she’s too scared to leave the apartment to get it updated. The ICE guy handed the papers back to her and said “Thank you. Please get those updated” and left. Mom said her friend passed straight out into her arms. She came home and told my step dad, who decided to go to work today. Which was great. They seem focused on the apartments, and we live in a house.

And then, I was walking to school today, and I saw ICE on the apartment building roof behind my school. Snipers. They look like snipers. I just saw snipers, right behind my school. They could shoot me from where they are if they wanted.

So I ran in here, ditched my first period and hid.

Every day I come to school and it’s so hard to think about my schoolwork. I’m a senior I wanna graduate, but I can’t focus knowing that there are armed men in full protective gear standing outside of my building. How is that supposed to be good for me and my learning?These guys have guns- if they decide they’re coming into the building they’re coming into the building. School secretary or not.

 I’ve been through a school shooting guys. I was locked down in the theatre for a school shooting. I know what it’s like. It is not fair that this is something I have to go through twice. I am not even 18 years old yet and I live in America and I’ve never felt safe at school. I've never felt safe at school. How is that fair?

So I’m here in this wing, sharpening my horn so I can get through the day. I won’t use it unless I have to. And I Shouldn’t Have To I’m A Student.

I’m so scared.

6 Feb 2025 kwmartin