Friday 30 May, 2025
I waited until the last day with students to begin Act Two: Dad's Car.
Why? Because he put my mom's name on the title.
Why? Nobody knows.
He bought the car in 2018. They've been divorced since 1982.
I'll let you math that.
Why did I wait? Because I knew this would be Another Whole Thing.
So I wanted to wait at least a month after my last appearance at the Littleton DMV to have a crisis moment in the Littleton DMV. My return engagement. Back by Unpopular demand, as Act One: My Dad's Trailer left so many unanswered questions.
Even though I see it coming, it's going to trigger me.
When I saw her name on the registration, my heart sank. "This will not be easy" is what that sinking feeling said. I had the trailer title signed by him before he died, and I still made six trips to three different DMV's to get it completed. And that should have been easy. For God's sake he signed the title before he died.
This will not be easy.
First, we don't have the title. We had to dig the registration out of the car. The Car: his current land yacht, a 2004 Lincoln Town car. Broken console and the passenger door doesn't open. But the tires are brand new and it runs beautifully even though the dome light does not turn off.
All of these are features of any of my dad's cars.
I looked up what I would need to change the title, and became concerned that the car is not insured. Because he died and we weren't going to keep paying insurance. However, it appears that is not a concern when someone has died and the car is sitting in front of your house looking abandoned. Which one must say with an iambic emphasis: a-ban-don-ed.
What is a concern is that the dead man somehow put his ex wife's name on the title without her signature or permission when he was still alive.
Dealing with the DMV as I have this spring, it is shocking to me that they would allow a man to just add someone to the title of his car without that person being present. Then I can add my dog to my car title. Right?
I assumed mom would have to sign something to say she didn't want the car, but I figured going to the Littleton DMV for recon first might be the best strategy. I mean, I just want his name taken off. Leave hers on.
It was also an opportunity for me to slam my face into my palms and raise my voice at the messenger.
The security guard recognized me from Act One: Dad's Trailer.
Clerk #8's supervisor stayed close by, as my voice took on a sharp tone.
They recognized that tone. I don't yell, I Tone. And I'm not going to be monotoned about this because...
My Mom Did Not Sign Off On Ownership Of That Car.
Clerk #8 looked up the title to confirm that my mom's name is listed as owner.
When I asked "How is that possible, she was not with him when he registered it. She did not even know he bought a car, they've been divorced 43 years...How Is That Possible?"
Clerk #8 sounded annoyed--he also had A Tone in reserve for People Like Me- but stayed cool headed as his supervisor was right behind him "I am only telling you what I see. Her name is on the title."
He has no answers. His job is to follow the script and type keys to reprint titles, register newly purchased vehicles, fetch license plates and wish he could afford to pay his rent.
So what we have here is...male entitlement?
Any man can register a car and add a woman's name without her permission?
This is the only answer. Mom not only did not cosign anything for that car, but she doesn't even know when he bought it. Because. Divorced 44 years.
I'd love to tell you I have no idea what he was thinking. But I think I do. He still loved her and in his own way, he thought he was leaving the car to her by putting her name on it. It's possible he put her name on all of his cars over the years. We'll never know. We do know that he tried to "give" her the trailer the same way, but she refused.
He did not ask her about the car.
Which brings me back to my thesis, which is Why Are Men Allowed To Do Whatever They Want? Which is not the thesis I began with when I started writing this, but who cares? I'm not a very good writer.
So Monday, 2 June, I have to schlep mom from Lakewood to Littleton so she can tell Clerk # Whoever "I never signed for this" and have the title flipped to me. At which point I will sell the car to my neighbor, who is willing to take it off my hands and restore and resell it.
Sunday, 8 June dad's ashes will be thrown to the wind of Genoa, Colorado.
And...we're still not done. OPM has to send me beneficiary paperwork and Social Security has to fetch the weird deposit they made into his savings account.
Scene
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