4 April 2025
I unfriended a family member today.
That is not like me, but much about me seems to be up for whatever definition fits your perception.
I have now twice been accused by someone I went to high school with of bullying them. one said I hissed at her.
I did no such thing. But ever since, I have wondered if I was the bully. Like Liz Lemon discovered when she went to her high school reunion.
Because of course it's my fault. That's how I was raised. I must have misunderstood the exchange. It's about me without actually being about me.
I was in a PLT meeting a few weeks ago; performing arts, two art teachers and the AP. Somehow the topic of smoking pot came up---specifically making bongs out of soda cans. Please refer to the list of people in this meeting before wondering how the heck the conversation traveled to that point. I laughed along as one does, however I never made a bong in my life. I never even used one. I smoked pot once and it didn't go well, so I have abstained, claiming the Punk Creed to stay sober and angry at Reagan.
Everyone in the room went quiet and looked at me. Unsure of what was happening, I merely looked back. One of the art teachers started laughing, and said "I'm sure kmart knows."
I'm a white Gen X kid, raised on guilt. I'm a white Gen X teacher with PTSD after being attacked for speaking up. So I looked back at them...for exactly one second.
I did not raise my voice. It was clear and precise-
"I'm so tired of being blamed for shit I didn't do just becuase you think my demeanor suggests that I did. I don't smoke pot--I don't like it. I don't appreciate the assumption based on my age or mohawk."
The current regime has me pulling out all stops. Speaking up like that is pretty new for me, espeically in a building I just joined a year ago. However, I yell on Facebook. I protest. I speak up in departmnt meetings. I email the district. I email the school board. I left a toxic building---one I ran to because I was bullied out for speaking up--because I was Fed Up.
I had Had It. It was what I had had and what I had had was IT.
I've been unraveling slowly ever since.
Then ...well...you know. Look at the date.
My first reaction was to see the doctor about the brain fog, anxiety and general unrelenting anger. I did. I have vitamins now and a therapist.
Part of my therapy is to use facebook to yell. It's a canyon, most people who still engage on FB are friends and think like me. We rarely comment on one another's posts, we're just using the platform for the Eternal Shriek. The Primevel Shout. And to post news about art shows.
I do have a few lingering conservative types who do not engage with my posts, and I do not engage with theirs. If we want to talk, we can get a glass of wine. But I won't start a fight on a freaking social media platform. All but one of these folks are female.
The male, a cousin by marriage, stepped over the line.
I have ignored his pro immigration posts, his misled allegeince to money and belief that Iran had a nuclear warhead pointed at the US.
He chose to respond to this post of mine:
"Guys, why are we still having these conversations?
Converstion therapy is wrong. Forcing people to ignore their true selves to be something you think is 'right' is abuse.
Refusing healthcare to a human due to their social econmic status or gender is criminal. AKA wrong.
Blocking voting rights to an entire gender because you know they won't vote for you is wrong.
Invoking the name of Jesus to justify war is wrong."
The cousin commented "I hope you aren't talking about all conservatives."
Well, dear, that sounds like a confession to me. And, as a teacher, it is my job to take this apart so you can think about it. I did NOT say "You are responding to a MORAL post with a POLITICAL answer you moron." I just stated that if you are for any of the above policies, you need to check your moral compass.
Nothing good happened after that exchange.
I pointed out that I was referencing a Moral Compass, not "conservative" or anything political. Harp chimed in to tell him "Nobody is judging you" when he started blubbering about his age and his right to like some things but not all things about the regime...and I just...snapped. I won't argue on social media, so I deleted his comments. He commented again. I deleted again and unfriended him.
He is a 75 year old white rich Texan.
Not all 75 year old white rich Texans are without a moral compass.
But all Liberal White Women are done listening to it.
I found this label on a Tik Tok collage featuring white men and white women screaming that the PROBLEM WITH THIS COUNTRY IS LIBERAL WHITE WOMEN.
Who is organizing protests?
Who is showing up at protests?
Who is posting news updates on social media?
Who are the Mama Bears, the teachers, the doctors and nurses, assited living caregivers, paraprofessionals...you know, the ones holding this shit show together with what energy we have left because we are compassionate.
We're the Liberal White Women.
And this LWW is done allowing 75 year old rich men mansplain how it's completely moral to accept some things about the Trump administration while disagreeing about other things becuase that's politics dear.
Nope.
This regime has jack bannana shit to do with politics.
It's 100% about repression, greed and control. No politics. No Moral Compass.
But---fun fact--several deadly sins!
Nice segue, kryssi.
They didn't invite the Catholics to the Pentagon Easter celebration, because the Pope is behaving like a Liberal White Woman, and openly states that war is wrong, rounding up immigrants is wrong and greed is wrong. "Wrong" meaning "Without A Moral Compass or Compassion."
I have a list of reasons to disagree with the Catholic Church, but I will say outloud to anyone interested that I Like This Pope.
Fun to be a Liberal White Woman who agrees with the Pope.
Compassion makes strange allies.
